Every day is just routine, the Misstress and I go to work, then we go home. It is good fun but yesterday the master said he would have day of HOLIDAYS! I got very wildly happi and jumped over the bed in our house, it is only a little double bed, easy to jump over, then I ran up and down the stairs many times to hurry the misstress, who was packing a bikini and a picknick. Mistresses are just so slow. No need to boil the eggs!

We went in the GOOD CAR, the red car. I whined and barked and chewed up the plasticky rail that the master has put in to stop me from driving. Masters realli waste a lot of time and money, obviously I will get to drive one day, plastic rails or not. The misstress got a little stressi, as usual,and kept saying longingly that police dogs die in hot cars. I didn’t die at all, the master gaver me 3 wine-bottlefuls of water and we all went to chase balls. I had the greatest time possible, I also escaped and joined a footballs games with nice young masters.There were many dogs and my very own ball came too. I was so excited I couldn’t lie down at all. I walked all over the picnics many times. The misstress wanted to read a book in peace and rest.

Misstresses are so dull it is unbelieavable. I wanted to run and walk and go in the waves all the time and play football and chase away seagulls. These are not allowed by beater dogs. I stayed totalli alert and helped to put sand in all the egg mayonnaise sandwiches and tipped up the misstresses glass of wine. She drinks too much wine. Then I tipped my own water bottle and the coffee thermos too and took a cheese sandwich which was too sandi to eat. The Misstress seemed a little pissedi off, misstressis go funny at this age, I have heard other dogs say so, the misstressis run out of energies. All in all, it was pretty good day out. Better if they let me drive! I slept a bit on the way home, maybe allt eh way, it was relaxing and the chauffeur can drive home. That’s why I have a chauffeur. So I can relax. When we got home I felt fully

superb again but the Misstress went for an early nights rest in her bed, I think she must be falling old or something. She has no staminas at all, none whatsoevers.

Wolfie appeals to the readers for help in finding a girlfriend. Like many other men on farms, he finds it hard to meet females 26.07.10

Dear Readers:
 I’m grownup now, I want a girl friend. The Misstress said to advertise on Personal Columns.
This is my own Personal Advert.
I’m a dark, longharied youngish chap with a sociable and outgoing nature. I have many interests and gsh.
I like long walks in Nature, and joggings. I like quiet evenings in. I like meals out. I have good employment and shared housing.
 I’m interested in sporty cars and driving.
I enjoy speed sports, such as racing and bicycling but I don’t watch telly much. I like animals, especially those that can go faster with assistance. I take an interest in cooking of animals.
I’m looking for a bitch friend for running and maybe more.
Jack Russill terriers need not apply, I don’t like anklebiting. Send application to countrytalk, pls, most urgently with photo.
Wolfie

Wolfie Inspects the course at Badminton Horse Trials. 05.05.10

My Dear Friends,
Now I’m a business partner I went to Badminton for the horse-trials, to see the jumps and make contacts. It was a very good business outing, we went in the best car, the Masters one, I was very happy. There were very many dogs and some horses. These were going in circles and I wanted to help them to go faster but the mistress had the noseband on me, blasted Misstress. I concentrated on meeting all my friends, I made lots of new ones too, 4-legged and 2-legged. I visited the stablings for the hoses, then I ran f with an Official Buggy, It went almost fast enough.
The horse-jumps were big and the horses go fast. Dogs are not allowed to help them speed up or bite them when they fall down. Apart from that it is a good sport, this horse-trialling. There is a hotel for dogs too, but it was rather noisy with the various friends squeeking and yapping for their mistresses and each other. I inspected the Lake for a nice cooling bath. It was very well arranged. I shall go again and bring bizzniss cards to give to my friends. I should like them to come and visit me at home, we could run together.For to improve horsetrialling sports, dogs should be loose and everything go a bit faster, then it would be perfect.
Yours, Wolfie

How to Improve an Ordinary Afterbirth: My Special Recipie. 12.04.10

One of my perks for being a business-parner is disposal of afterbirths. You naturally agree with me that fresh afterbirth is plasticky and tasteless, just like young cheddar cheese. I have now made my own recipie:
Sundried Afterbirth Pancakes, a most delicate and crunchy treat.
 The Misstress drags the afterbirth outside and inspects it , she says this is important for the mares health. I lick my lips. The Misstress digs the afterbirth down. I wait a bit. Then I dig it up. The Misstress digs it down. I dig it up next day when she is busi.I inspect ist for matureness and ripe smell. When it is ready I lay it in the sun to dry.

Wolfie states that dogs are sentient beeings but he’s not sure cats are. They are just cats! He’s conducting tests.

It goes crispy in a day, then I eat it up when the misstress has forgotten about it. If you have a better trained Misstress than mine, she may cook pancakes for you, that would save trouble. Bon Appetit!
Yours Wolfie

Wolfie runs the business. 30.03.10
 Dear Friends,
 I haven’t had time for my musings. I’m a working dog now.
I help the Misstress at Our Stables every day.
I make the horses go in and out. I make them go faster! Faster is better, then we can go for a fun walk when the work is finished.
The Misstress says I’m invaluable.
She says she has been looking for a young business partner and now she has one: ME!
I’m a biznizz partner! I am very important. Our Cat is just a Cat and not a biznizz partner. He is too lazy to catch rats and he complains too much about food. I whimper, only if I’m shut up on my own because even a business partner can whimper a bit. I’m hoping to go on conferences and maybe business holidays too. Businessmen get many perks.I can make conferences go faster, I think.
My leg is good again.
Yours, Wolfie 31.03.10

Wolfie goes out for Christmas lunch at Granny’s. 30.12.09

When it was nearly time for Krismass we went for an outing on Dunkey Beacon, which is a big hill. There was ice everywhere and great funs. I ran fast. I skidded. The Master’s car skidded too and other cars were lying in the hedges. It was good fun. I like skidding on ice.
Then I stayed in the Masters car, which got skidded up on ice at a place called Grannis. the Master and Misstress went in for lunch in Grannis. They left the window a bit open for me.
I jhumped into driving seat, to take opportunity for practice drive.
I put my foot on the buttons in the middle. Something went click.
I tried to start the car, like the Misstress does. You fiddle with the keys. It would not start, I need to watch the Misstress better, she can start cars.
The engine has to go, then you can go fast.Then you go beep-beep!

The Master came out of the house, and the Misstress. Now she was wearing a dress and High Shoes. This makes Misstressis totalli useless, they cannot run or even walk in High Shoes.
The master got a bit stressed: “The dog has locked the car!” he said. “The keys are in the ignition.” I knew that. The master put a stick and a string through my window and breaked the door a bit so it opened. He let me out and went back to the lunches. I went into Grannis house. I wanted to go to the parti too so I ate up a bit of the door, to get in. The Misstress heard me and gave me some left-over venisons but I wanted to be in the parti. The Misstress said best to go home now, she seemed a little stressi, I don’t know why, probably the food was bad. We pushed the car off the ice and I ran up the hill with the Misstress, then we went home.
I din’t get a car of my own for Krismass, it is a bit sad. I got onli a bone. Next time I get locked in the car I shall know better how to start it, I’m watching the misstress now. Best thing for Krismass is Gogonzola cheese! It is lovli.
Yours,Wolfi, 30.12.09

My Dear Friends,
I feel very well now. I have had lots of walks and some good runs. The Misstress is worried I still limp. I’m not worried, I’m just not so fast but I’m faster than the cats, ha ha. The Misstress says we are going to have to go and have x-rays again. It will be next week. 
Yesterday by the canal, I met a big white dog. Bigger than me, even! It ran after me. I ran away fast, then I turned. The Misstresss seemed calm, I stopped and then I played with the white dog, we had fun, running.I wish the Misstress would let us have a friend for me!
The Young Misstress is staying in our House. it is great, she is much better than the old Misstress. I LOVE they Young Misstress and she must never leave our pack. I keep a good eye on her to make sure she doesn’t sneak away. She has made our pack bigger, younger and better altogether. It is my job to make sure the pack stays together. Yours Wolfie 0.6/111/09

Wolfi sees the Specialist again. Good News! 30/09/09

My Dear Friends:
Some Good News at last! The Mistress and I drove in the Pick-up to the Expert Veterinary Hospital. It was fun, I directed the Misstress by standing up and banging on the roof to her driving cab. If only she would let me drive soon... it would be much faster and more fun.Then we waited in a delightful waiting room with DOGS. I love Vets! I love waiting! But the dogs should be loose. One Spaniel had a leg broken right off. The Special xpert Vet will soon fix i with an Operation...That’s what hospitals are for. Operations.
When it was our turn the most lovly Mr. Attenburrow said I should have More exercise and some little pills. He said the leg is good, only a little inflammation or something is what hurts a bit. It will be fixed he said! And I can go for better walks and probably drive very soon. I’m so happy with this news and so is the Misstress!
Yours, Wolfi, 30/09/09

Wolfie stays in a boarding Kennel. 14/09/09

Dear Friends,
I have had a most interesting experience. The misstres and the Master did some packing of their smelly fleeces. Then we went in Our Car to a New Place. It was full of dogs. I went with a strange man for a minit to say hello to these new Friends. In the meantime the Master and Misstres somehow got mislaid and vanished.

I still limp and the Misstress says I must see the Specialist. The Misstres and the Master, they have sort of given up now and just say, well let him have a life. It is better to be loose and run a bit, even if I limp, I think so too. It is now 6 months after my Big and Horrible Operation. It is a very long bit of my life. the Misstress, the Master and me, Wolfie, we all think now that maybe I will just have to limp a bit and we can get used to this. After all, we can take Our Car for longer distances, I think I can drive now, the leg can do driving.
Yours Wolfi

 26.08.09
 My Dear Friends,
 The Misstress, she worries and worries about me. I feel quite cheerful again because I hardly limp now, only a little. The Misstress says the dog is lame, but she is WRONG. We go in the park twice a day. I LOVE the park, it is so smelly and interesting and there are dogs every day to meet. 

MY friends,
It is now 16 weeks since my operation on the ligiments. I’m rially cross because I have had a set-back. Everything was getting on fine, the Misstres was taking me for walks in the park. Then we had a nice day, the Misstres went to a horse-show and the Master let me run around quite a lot. Now I’m limping around again and rather fed up with the Misstress who says I ust rest the leg AGAIN.

My Dear Friends,
 I’m glad to tell you things have improved. It is 9 weeks since my horrible Operation, the Misstress says after looking in her diary and her banking statements. She says I can come out in the garden and help a little, if I’m not too WILD. SoI help the misstress lots. I pull out the dead wood of the plants, the Misstress and I chew it up and make small pieces and the Misstress bags it up and puts it in the shed. She says it is for winter time fires.

As you can see in the snaps, I’m very quiet and collected. I’m sure the Misstress will let me help again. I like gardening. We should have a bigger garden though. This one is too small for speed. Gardening is more fun than cooking!

Yours, Wolfi, 16/06/09

My Friends,
I am getting better. The Misstress, she worries and worries but when she brings the sucking machine out, to suck up all the black hairs in the house, I dance around it for joy. She says it is my fault there are black hairs everywhere. In summertime, you take some of your coat off, that’s all. Nobody’s fault. It is many more weeks to go of resting the leg but the Misstress sometimes lets me come with her in Our Car now and see Our Cat, at the stables. She keeps me on the lead, but it is an improvement. When I’m at home she gives me pigs’ trotters from the butcher. She says they are disgusting but I think they are tasti .Misstresses , they find many interesting things disgusting.

 A police-man came to see me. He said these black dogs make very good POLICE DOGS when they are two years old and more calm. The Misstress was asking for trainings advices. I think she is nearly fully trained now. The cooking could get better. A bit less cooked. More meats and eggs. In my cook-book I’m not putting much cooking of pastas and rice. I’m not putting dog-biscits in at all, just good home-cooking. Yours, Wolfi, 26/05/09

My Friends,
The Misstress is nearly promissing that if I can stick it out another week under the house-arrest I might be able to start going out a little. This is very good news. In the meantime I chase plastic flower-pots aroiund the house. Well, a wolf has to do something. The Misstress gets a bit worried and says ‘ stop him!, Stop him!’ but I think she’s a bit wearied out with stopping me from doing everything. Today she cooked very nice undercooked beefburgers by mistake. Very good. I like it when she makes mistakes. She smelt nice of horsis blood and was stressed, then I get nice food and interesting smells. She is not so happy, misstressiss don’t like blod and accidents like dogs do. . Yours, Wolfi, 18.05.09

Oh My friends,
The worst news ever, I saw it on a video: ANOTHER DOG, I think a type of Whippit, got to chase the horses at Badminton! I cannot believe my bad luck, just what I pracktissed and pracktissed to do. I could do it for longer, all the way round, over the jumps too. This would make Badminton much more fun and properly exciting and should be done every year by a properly trained up Wolf. The Whippit only lasted 3 jumps, I would last 3 miles, iisily. OH. So sad.
Yours Wolfi, 12/05/09

My Dear Friends,
The Veterinary Assessment was not a great success. The Misstress took me in Our Car to the Local Vet. I was so happy, to go driving again and to go to the Vets’ where you always meet dogs and cats... In the waiting room I saw a friend Labrador with a big Hole in her neck but no mending by the vet. Obviously,, now I’m so xperienced at vets, I knew she needed an operation, like myself, with stitchings which are itchy but soon mend the skin, like zipper.
The Vet looked at me. The he looked at the Misstress. Then he told the Misstress in a hopeless way that he had never seen this operation in a big young dog before. Let alone a proper Wolf. So he didn’t know if it was getting ok or not!

After that he sends us out to pay the seckrety 25 coins. The Misstress was not happy and told the Seckrety that there is only plastics left in our house after my operation. Seckrety said, fine, plasticks good. I agree because once, when I was young I took the Master’s wallet thing , leathery and nice, into the garden and spread the plastics out a bit, for him to find and chewed up the leathery thing a bit. I was young then and didn’t know about plastics. They are very useful, Misstressis calm down when they pay with plasticks only.
 The Misstress drives us home and rings up the Proper Hospital. The Proper Hospital told her not to worry, only keep the DOG shut up and very quiet. But that’s ME, I’m not THE DOG, I’m a very good running young wolf, I want to run again.
So now the misstress is calmed down and I’m a bit frantic to run.
Yours, Wolfi, 11/05/09

 I miss my training classes and I miss Our Cat. I sleep and I dream about training cats. Nice big tabbi cats. Now I’m going to eat a bone. It passes the time better when you eat bones. All injured persons should get bones.
Yours, Wolfi 0505/09

 P. S. In my cookbook I shall put roast pheasant with feathers and everything, be best meal ever,for dogs.

Dear Friends,
              In these bad times of total box-rest, I have taken to enjoying cooking more. I think I might publish my own cookery book. Before, I never had time for thinking about food, life was so exciting. Now I think more and it is not at all umpleasant to help a little in the kitchen. My favourites are roasted pheasant and baby rabbit tartare. The Master is not so keen on the baby rabbits, good job,I can have them all.Life has slowed down and is less exciting but the leg hurts less. The Master has built a barricade to upstairs and I am not allowed to jump into the bath either. Time is rather dull, I don’t rially enjoy telvision much. If the vets are agriiable next time I see them I shall continue to work for my driving licence. .
Yours, Wolfi, 25.04.09

Dear Friends,
I fear my Misstress is going mad. All day she says, ‘stay there, be tied up here, stay in the kitchen, don’t do this, don’t do that’. So I get a bit bored now I’m feeling remarkably better without them pill biscits. When she’s in bed in the morning I break down the flaps on the back door and go out of course, to save her the trouble of taking me for a pee but she goes mad with ingratitudes. So I go upstairs whilst she has her breakfast. She gets totilly wild and says ‘come down immidjatli’ so I jump down from halfway. Now she is all upset and says my leg is swollen, well it is her own fault, I only need to run a little and she is quite welcome to stay in bedf or a little lying in, no problem to me. Oh these mistressess, they don’t understand how long a day is without running. Or even driving a little. Yours, Wolfi 21/04/09

Wolfi and the Vets, Wolfie is home from hospital 15.04.09

My Dear Friends,
 I’m rather tired. Hospitals are not very restful, all these little dogs make a lot of noise just when you’re trying to recover from your operations.I had to have a sort of sleep and when I woke up everything hurt more again. Vets... The Nursemisstress was nice. Now I have itchi stitches in my leg. The Vet told the Misstress that the ligiments were totalli totalli broken. Ripped off.Now they have fixed the bones in place with metals.
I was happy when the Misstress came to fetch me with my car. She had made me a.bed in front.

But there is bad news: I must not run! I must not go upstairs! I must not jump! I must not play games with Our Cat! What am I to do? And who will keep Our Cat up to scratch?
I can only go out on the lead, like a baby, to pee. That is all. This has to last for one whole month! That is nearly a year, I think, a very long time. Just now I want to sleep some more.The only small bit of good news: The Vet did NOT say that I couldn’t drive. Good afternoon slumbers my friends,
Wolfi

Dear Friends,
 This trouble with torn up ligiments is very bad. The Misstress puts a bandage on and then SHE feels better. NOBODY has sent me any Get Better Cards. This is very sad.
 Our Cat has been very considerate and brought in a nice Baby Rabbit Tartare, just how I like them.

First, Our Cat brought in a mouse, for himself. I took it, to show him how to treat sick wolves. He understood and went and got me a baby rabbit right away. My favourite. Our Cat doesn’t eat rabbit but he likes getting them. I don’t hunt rabbit much, myself. They can’t fly. But they are very tasti. So Our Cat and I have a good working agreement, he fetches rabbits and I eat them.

Next week I have to go to Expert Vet. Clinic. with all my xrays and everything. It is bad bizzniss indeed this. I’m fairly cheered up again otherwise but the leg is not so good for running on. The Misstress lets me drive the car, She puts it into gear, i take it out of gear, then it stops suddenly. She seems a bit surprised when it stops on bends.
Yours, Wolfi 9.4.09

 Wolfie Has an accident. 07/04/09

My Dearest Friends,
       I need some Moral support. I have hurt myself badly. It was altogether a bad week.
First the Mistress took me to the Vets for a vaccination and to have microchipping. I think they are an emergency ration, for bad times.
The Vetress was a type of Mistress. When I was thinking happily about all the cats in the waitingroom she flew at me, like an insect and stabbed my neck. Then she said,’ no chips came out’ .Idiotic. I don’t have chips in my neck, I’m not Mc Donald.Vets.....

So she stabs me again and again with her chips. I say nothing but ‘yiieeep’. I’m polite.
 Next day, we go for a fun walk in the WINDS, my favourite. We get to a gate and the clumsi mistress gets over, I go to jump. Oh my friends, look out, there are traps in this jumping bizznizz. My back leg caut in some netting and I got hung up by it. It hurt magnificently. I yelped ‘IIEEPPPS’ and got loose but my leg hurt so I could hardly walk. I went to the Mistress who felt my leg and said she thought no broken bone. She was very worried sick though.
 Monday, I’m sad and now another appointment, EMERGENCY for the vets.
 The vets stab me in the neck again, even though I’m so sad. I do not like these vets any more, they are just 2-legged insects rially.

And next, I go all funny and can’t remember anything. Today, tuesday,everything hurts and my head aches. That is 2-legged vets for you. Don’t be polite, my friends, they are sneaky creeps.Insects. I can hardly jump onto my car. I cannot drive. It is the vet’s who are to blame. So I’m resting in bed for a little while.
 I don’t like dog-foods. I might accept small gifts of stiltons cheeses and roast beefs not roasted, just to keep me going. The vet says ligimints breaked off or something horrible. I don’t know. Best thing, I think, rest in bed and make the Mistress bring very rare steak tartare.Cheddar cheese with expensive peppercorns is also quite tasti. I cannot go obedience traing but I train the mistress at home for a bit. She can read and do secretary work for me.

Your, sadly, Wolfi.31-03-09 No flowers please, bones accepted.

 Well, my dear friends. We had the Exam. It was a terrible time for me. The Misstress got totalli diskvalified! She is in disgrace. She obviously cannot remember where she lives without me and she had forgotten to get an adress label printed on her new collar. She onli had her phone-number. The Misstress got very sad because she practcklli lives in my car so she thinks next time she should write the number of the car down instead. I’m on the back of the car, telling her where to go.
I had to stay up very late for the exam, it was exciting to drive in the dark. Then we had sits and stays again. I did very good opening of gate for the Misstress and didn’t jump the gate. I didn’t want to show them that the Misstress is hopeless at jumping small gates. I was very skilful at hiding all of her problems but the stay was not so good, when I had a little chat to one of my frind labradors she wandered off again, she really is rather bad at interfering in other peoples conversations.
So in the end some of my friend Labradors got rosettes and certificates for their mistressess but I got nothing for mine. She is a bit upset but I expect she will forget, she forgets everything and I have to find her gloves and things all the time.

Wolfi meets his Match: A Good Saturday morning!

Dear Friends
  Today I met a most enormos dog, bigger than me even. This was a proper dog called Dane. We had a wonderful time. Dane has not trained his Mistress yet and she let him chase horsis, I had to admire him from the sides as my Mistress gets a bit silli when I chase horsis. Dane tried to chase Our Cat but our Cat puffed up very Big for only 3 killigrams and Dane changed his mind. I think Dane had not so very much attention in his brains but very good running in his legs! We ran and ran and played, it was a very good Saturday indeed. These Danes are better than terriers I think, for running. Nearly as good as whippits but less pretti.
Yours, Wolfi, 7/3/09

The Mistress gets up to Speed.Will she fly next?

 Now I have exciting news again: The Mistress has taken to 4 legs, you wouddent believe it. She puts some collars on a horse with 4 legs, then she stands on a chair, clumsy as usual. But then, then, listen, she transforms! Now she has 4 legs and she walks tip top fast, no doodles. I run with the 4-legged Misstress and we go for proper walks and trots. And better still, we get to a field of trees and the mistress nearly flies along. Maybe she will become a chicken next? I hope so, that would be fantastic.
I get to run rially my fastest. Then the horse breathes hard and the Mistress slows down. The horse is not fit like a proper dog but it will get better. I want to chase it a little and bite it’s legs if it gets tired to keep it going. It is a little confusing if cars go by because it is be fun to chase cars too. And tractors...
Yours, Wolfi  04.03.09

Wolfi and the wormi-pills.

 One day I had to eat biscits called Wormipills. First the Master said “How many Killigrams?” then the Master stood on a flat box called scaly thing. The Master looked unpleased and said too many killigrims. The he wanted to lift me but I didn’t want to be lifted onto skaly thing with too many killigrims, it sounded horrible. The Master lifted me anyway and wobbled onto scalything with me in his arms. The Mistress looked surprised and said forty killigrims! Many wormipills needed.
She gave me tini biscits called wormipills. They taste not much. The Mistress didn’t let me spit them out, she made me swallow.
Then great fun, Our Cat to have wormi-pills too. Cat on scalything, only 3 killigrams whic is 7 poundigrims. Nothing. But did Our Cat want to eat his wormipills? No! Our Cat had to be rapped in a blankit and held by the Master who was wearing ovenmittens and the Mistress poking pills into his mouth and Our Cat spitting them out again.Our Cat was very angry and spitted and scratched at the Mistress, then he got loose from the blankits and I think he had no wormi-pills at all swallowed.. Cats!
Yours Wolfi, 03.03.09

 The Mistress is getting more Obedient.

Dear Friends,
        I went Obedience training yet again. I got a bit excited in the car, maybe overexcited. I know if we go in the car at night we are going to see Whippit! So I flew the Mistress into the class like a kite. Then we stayed for ages and I whimpered sadly because Whippit wasn’t there. The Mistress can do all these situp,sit,down,lie-up,lie downs iisily.Heel, heel, heel. She is showing some promise at obedience work at last..
The Mistress got exhausted, she has no stamina, the class only took two hours and I kept whimpering and trying to crawl on my tummy all the time when I was waiting for the next heel,situpdownlieupdown session. It is very exciting but I want to run, I just want to RUN! The Mistress took some snappings of the other Mistresses, they are rially a bit slow to learn.
 Today I had a ride with a horse! it was wonderful! Tell you another time, Yours , Wolfi

This is Labrador training his Mistress . I teach my mistress quicker! Labrador is a bit sad and is thinking about food..My Mistress gets to fly if she goes to heel too slowly.The big dog is called Rattveiler, I think. She is friendly and her Mistress has been well taught and is very obedient and does what Rattveiler says right away.Labrador has trained the Instructress to give him more goodies all the time, Labrador likes goodies. I spit the goodies out. Soon Instructress will be trained to bring BONES.

26/02/09

Wolfi goes on a picknick at Braunton Burrows

My Dear Friends,
 Yesterday I had an Outing with the Mistress and the Master in the Master’s car. I like the Master’s car best, it goes on fun outings, the Mistressess car just keeps going to the same old place and back. When I have my driving Licence I shall drive to better places. Fast. And I shall peep the horn a lot! In the Master’s car I sit in the boot and have my head in the back window, it is very good. We went to a sandy place with hills and plants and dogs . We went for a rially long and exciting walk and had a tasti picknick on egg mayonnaise sandwhiches, I got two for being a Good Boy. I don’t know why, rially, I was just myself. There was no chicken-chasing which was a shame .
 Instead we had a brilliant game called Hide an Seek : The Mistress and I wait impatiently. The Master goes off and hides in the bushes. Then the Mistress says “Find!!” and I go off my fastest and run and look and smell and sniff and run until I find him. It is great fun. Then the Mistress vanishes in the grasses of the sandy hills and I have to run,run and smell and look. It really is a most wonderful game. Not as good as making birds fly, but pretty good.
 

The Mistress and I went to our second Obedience Training Class. It was much better. I like the Instuctress. She told the Mistress to go faster, just what I always say myself. The Mistress, she just doodles all the time.
 I met a most charming small dog with excellent streamlining for running. She is called Whippit and very lovli. I like Whippit a lot. I felt a bit romantic, nearly. At least I would like to run with Whippit and maybe more. I had to get the Mistress to do more Heel and Sits and things but then I discovered if I did Lie Down on my stomach I could crawl very slowly and quietly towards Whippit and only the Mistress noticed. She didn’t say anything, she seemed to get the gigglis for some reason.
 All in all, it was quite good fun but still nearly all on a lead and I had to wear my new halter which I haven’t chewed up yet. I will chew it up totally just 5 minits before the next Obedience training so I can run off with Whippit.
 As for the Mistress, first she took me for an ordinary walk, then she took me for a longer walk, then she took me for a run and then we went to Obedience class where she was very calm. I think she was a bit tired. It was very good for her and I think she’s improving her fitness a lot. And she was not nervi at all this time, I think she was thinking of lie-downs...
Yours, Wolfi.     18/02/09

The Mistress and I went to dog-training. It was a bit disappointing. I thought it was to do with chasing trains which are larger than cars and go on metal trails. They look promising to chase but you would have to train first to go your fastest.. 2-legged speech was a misteri again. I think this sort of training is for the Mistress to understand me better.
 There were many dogs in a big room. They were mostly called Labrador.They were nice except one yellow type who grauled a lot at me even though I wagged my tail and told him I wanted to play. Some dogs can’t even speak properly these days.
The Mistress kept saying: “sit up, lie down, sit down, stay, come, go, sit,up,down,heel, heel and more heel..” Rially, she knows those things quite well, she seemed a bit nervi so I kept by her to calm her down.This was good idea and she gave me lots of bits of cheese. Usually she only has bits of biscit in her pockets and I spit it out when she is not looking at me. Biscit is boring.
 I got to play a little with some of the Labrador types but only on the lead, in the room. I like running outside better so I can get speed up.
 Perhaps the training is to get the Mistress to learn to run better? 2-leggeds get very tired and have to do a lot of SIT. It is because if you go on 2 legs you get very tired, I have noticed that so I go on my 4 legs, fast. Then I LIE DOWN and rest and then I can run again for hours. 2-leggeds just walk and then they are tired and do sits again. If they did more lie downs they would feel better I think.
 Anyway, we go to this training class again next week, I shall let you all know if it gets more fun and if the mistress gets faster.
Yours, Wolfi

  Dear Friends,
            A new deveopment called snow! Fabolous stuff, white and crunchy or perhaps wettish...It seems like 2-legged speech, it can mean many things, fantastic or a bit badish. Catching snowballs is pretty exciting and jumping in the white stuff too. Nearly as good as catching flying chickens. I think paradise would be chickens flying in snow. After I chase them a bit...
Yours, Wolfi

In the Snowy Paradise should be a village with a risturant where dogs can go in with the Mistressis and eat nice food like pasta and roast lammlegs. There should be a Butcher’s Shop too with a nice Master Butcher to hand out bones.
In the houses the beds should be very large and the dogs can sleep in them. If the Masters and Mistressis want some peace they can sleep on dog-beds on the floor. First I thought it would be more fun without Mistressis but rially, it is more fun with them so you can get taken on surprising outings to the beach and things. And so they can get a bit cross and then you can be a Good Boy and everyone is so happy again..Cats can come in too and live in the warm cuboards and you can chew on them a tiny bit when nobody is looking.

A cross cockerel Replies:
   As all sef-repecting birds know Paradise has lots of seeds and a temperate climate, no wolves , foxes, cats or dogs whatsoever. There are juicy worms and tasty crops of corn and maize and birds can rear their families without any shooting, dogs or other hassles. That is how Paradise is. Snow and dogs: it sounds like Hell to me.
Yours, White- Cock 8/2/09

Dear Friends,
      Here you can see for yourself how difficult misstresses are. Which is a ‘Good Boy Chicken’ and which is a ‘Bad Dog’ chicken? Rially, it is hard to understand the fuss misstresses make, a chicken is a chicken! They hide in bushes and then you chase them and they fly. It is great. Especially if you catch one..
Tasti,
Yours, Wolfi
 

 Wolfie goes picking up:

Chasing the birds
 My Dear friends,
 I want to tell you all about the best time I have had so far in my life:
 I got taken beating. I thought beating meant a boring day when I was left at home and could not even pee for hours. I was very rong. 2-leggeds have no proper speech. It seems ‘beating’ can mean a lousy day spent on your own or a terrific day in the company of spaniels and dogs and chasing chickens!
 When i was younger, some three months ago, i used to chase the chickens that come on our yard. It was fun. i would catch one and carry it around to the back of the shed and chew on it a little. Then the mistress would be angry and I would let it go.
 I would pretend to be a little sorry with my tail down for some seckonds. But 2-legged mistresses are a misteri to a dog. I got taken to a wonderful place where there were possibly millions of exciting chickens in the hedges and and all around. I got maybe a tiny bit excited but everything was fine! Now they said’ good boy’ and LET me chase these coloured chickens in the thick fir-trees where the 2-leggeds get stuck because of their clumsiness.Of course., then I didn’t want to go back to the boring mistress, she was shure to want to catch me and stop all the fun with the chickens. I managed to chase one of those red, shortlegged cat-like animals too.
 I met some spotted dogs the other day and they informed me at a meet that that these animals are quite the best thing to chase. Personally, I have not decided yet, the chickens and the red thing... It is a bit of a hazy dream, it was a day of wonders for me.
Oh, I so hope I can go again! I had the best day out of my entire life!

Yours, Wolfi