In Stabletalk we keep up with the news about horses. Our brave middle-aged reporters also try to re-enact their lost youths. You can read about their guts in tackling 2’3 at the Pony Club Hunter Trials.We also report on the true problems of middle-aged dressage. These are not normally mentioned. The survey below finds out what horses like doing. .Sex, sex sex for the Stallions, do they really have one-track minds? 8/08/09 Dressage sensation scores alltime high. Moorland Totilas not at Stud. 14.02.10 Should you breed from your mare? 09.0310

 a surprise ride in a Grand Prix for Annie,Gamebird gives A Tribute to The Thoroughbred. Thoroughbred thoughts by Gamebird.

After a Fantastic Breeders’Cup meeting
11/11/09 Denman returns.28/1/09 Vodka is the toast of Japan,, 09.12.09 Memories Desert Orchid.25.12.09

Cheltenham Fever is now striking some of the main contenders as well. 10.03.10
 Horses often go wrong. They strain tendons, they bang their suspensory ligaments, they get infected feet and bruise their surprisingly tender soles. Their hearts start fibrillating, they get untimely colics and temperatures and even manage to fracture ribs. For some reason they do this just as they are in the form of their lives coming up for a big, big occassion like Cheltenham or the Derby
 Tatiano has not been declared for the Arkle Tropy, the main Novices’ ‘Chase. Skipper’s Brig is out for thre rest of the season with a swollen joint. He was due to run it the William Hill ‘Chase on tuesday.
 Solwith, the Champion Hurdle favourite is suffering from an infection in his lungs.This was found during a routine ‘scope’ (peer with a tube down the air-ways) by the vet and the horse is on anti-biotics. It is too close to the Festival. Solwith is out of it.
Already the Australian contender, Gorge, is out of it with a fractured bone in a knee. Rotten luck for his connections, after all the effort that has gone into getting him here..Sublimity, the former champion hurdler who looked to be on a come-back trail, has banged a ligament and is out of it.. Binocular has been lame but is hopefully on the mend as is his stablemate Punchestowns. Both these top horses now have question marks over their runs..The Sliotar is out for the season, states trainer David Pipe, sadly. Jockey Leighton Aspell will have to watch from the sidelanes after lacerating a kidney in one of those minor tumbles commentators are so fond of.
On the brighter side we can report that the Japanese mare Vodka, , a marvellously tough animal, has been retired to stud after bleeding from the lungs when running disappointingly on her seasonal debut. She won the Japan Cup, last year and is their best mare ever. She will now take a holiday in Ireland for a romantic meeting with Sea the Stars.

  Should you Breed from your mare: Part 2. The Mare. By Annie

For the connections of the Japanese super-star Vodka, this was easy. Of course they should! Breed the best to the best is an age-old method. But if your mare is not quite in that league?
What should you look out for in a brood-mare?
The first thing to ask, is why do you want to breed and what do you want to breed.
 Many people say they want a mnice riding horse for themselves to have in 5 years time.. This sounds good but i actually a bit dim. In 5 years time, it turns out that they have got divorced, cannot keep the resulting young horse, which grew too big for them anyway.
 These breeders would be better advised to wait until they need that new horse, then go out and look for a suitable 4-yearold, of the right size and temeprament. If they go to reputable breeders they will have some choice, the horses can be vetted and tried, if broken.
If you breed from a mare of unknown background it is very hard to know what size the off-spring may be. People think they will be somewhere between the stallion and the mare but this is not always so. Bif, roomy mares breed bigger foals, even when put to small stallions. You may get a throwback to a Shire ancestor you didn’t know she had. There is nothing wrong with Shires but if you were planning on supplying your teenage daughter with her next top pony-clubber it may be unsuitable. Although teenage daughters can grow a lot in 5 years!
So, the first thing to look for in a brood-mare is pedigree.
If you want to breed a competition horse, look for a mare with a proven pedigree in the field you’re aiming for If you’re mare was a good to adequate performer but has no pedigree, be a little wary. The French have a good system, they rate performance horses on the success and level of competition the maternal line has achieved and give a rating based on this and on the siblings performance. It is a good prediction factor. There is never any certainty, but a foal from a maternal line that is good, and a foal with siblings performing well, is far more likely to be of the same caliber than a foal produced at randomn from unknown mare-lines.
Conformation and Type are the next considerations.
Be sure you have a goal. Then think hard about what horses in your chosen disipline look like. Think about how they move. Now go and look hard at your mare: Is she the type that might look right in your sport? There is a lot of variation but basically eventers need to have quality and very good paces. Show-jumpers can be a little heavier as they need more power. Dressage horses need fantastic paces.
If you have a heavy mare with average movement you’re unlikely to breed a top-class performer unless she has quite an exceptional jump. Be critical. As we said in Section 1 breeding is very expensive. If you think you’re just going to breed a happy hunter, maybe you should think again because there are very many of those. Most of the horses bred will fail below the standard we hoped for. These ‘failures’ will make happy hackers and hunters.
Maybe your mare has an injury or is lame. Should you breed from her then? You should also consider her age. The older mare is far more difficult to get in foal. By older I mean in the region of 13 to 14 and above.. That’s not old but in reproduction terms it is often harder.
This depends and we’ll carry on with those considerations next time, whilst we wait for Cheltenham.

We’re sorry to say that Stargazer, our Tipster has been struck very early this year and has gone to bed with the formbook and a bottle of Fast Gin. We’re seriously worried in case she may sleepwalk, in her delerium, to the computer, when nobody is about and back horses... The thought is unbearable, a tipster let loose on the Internet, where there is only make-believe money at stake, or so Stargazer believes.
Whilst we wait for some tips for the big meeting to emerge from the Crystal bottle we re-publish our friend Annie’s advice about Breeding from your Mare. It is that time of year again. Once spring is in the air, mare-owners go dreamy and start studying handsome stallions on the internet. It is also a fantasy world and it may be a good idea to read this little article before you send that favourite mare away to be covered by your dream stud horse.

 Should You Breed form Your Mare, Part One, the Owner/breeder:

Are You Resilient and well off?
.Are you a resilient person? If not, don’t even consider breeding as an option.
Breeders have to cope with such a lot of misfortune that if you’re going to feel terribly upset, then just don’t even start on this road. Why, you say, what could be lovlier than going out on a summer’s evening to admire your homebred colt playing as the sun sets?
Well, nothing.
But the road to this colt is long and beset with disappointments and expenses.. First you have to get the mare in foal. The she has to stay in foal for 11 months and more.
Then the foal and the mare have to survive the birth. In order to improve their chances to do so you should be present. You will want to anyway but, just think for a moment.:
Do you go out to work? If so, have you got a sympathetic boss? You may arrive at work totally exhausted for a month or more, with having stayed up at nights because the mare can actually manage to look very imminent for that long. A month overdue is not impossible at all. Then she may well foal at lunchtime, whilst you’re at work.
 If it goes wrong, there is the loss of the foal, the money invested, nearly a year of the mare’s life and that terrible sadness that follows the loss of young life. Or the terrible complications involved with finding a foster-mother or hand-rearing the foal, should you be unfortunate enough to lose the mare.Now obviously, this may never happen to you, but if you have a very high-powered job it could be difficult. Obviously, high-powered jobs are better paid and you can then solve the problem by putting the mare at livey at a stud where there are attendants available for constant but costly supervision.
 You may say that you will get a TV monitor and/or a foaling alarm and then you will sleep well until the mare is starting to foal. This will work if you’re a good sleeper. If not, you’ll find yourself watching the monitor for hours, even though nothing is happening. Or else, worse, the mare walks around a lot at night, looking as if she MIGHT foal and you stay awake watching.. Night after night.You also have to consider that your husband/wife/partner might get a bit fed up.
There may also be an economic crisis following the efforts to get her in foal. This can be hard on partners, who don’t always share the desire to have a foal
As we said at the start, the mare has to conceive to have this foal. It will invariably turn out more costly than you had anticipated. .The stud-fee is one thing. You can decide in advance how much you can afford, find a suitable suitor in that bracket and stick to this.What adds up is veterinary expenses and keep-charges.
If the mare is in season, goes to stud, has a natural covering and goes home again, to be scanned some 23 or so days later and is found to be in foal , with a single pregnancy, you have done fantastically well! Fequently the mare arrives at the stud and is found to have gone off, or not come on, or whatever. She then has to stay at the stud, or be brought back again when she is in season. Time and money. Many studs use a vet to determine the optimum moment for covering. This costs money.
If you use A.I. it is even more crucial to find the optimum moment and several vet’s visits will be needed, or the mare will have to stay for some days at the veterinary clinic, which will be even more expensive than a stud.
It is then possible that an antibiotic washout will be recommended, that the mare may need to be stitched up to prevent infection getting in, that the scans will be unclear, or, worse, negative. The mare will then have to be injected with prostaglandingn to bring her back into season again, or you have to wait another two weeks, until she comes on again by herself. You could have a twin pregnancy, which is so undesirable in the horse that the vet will eliminate one of the twins by squeezing it until it pops. Sometimes the remaining ex-twin also vanishes during this procedure. Result: go back to the start yet again! It is just like a game of Snakes and Ladders but rather more expensive.
 Next time, we’ll think about wether the mare is suitable for breeding!

Barry Geraghty was riding and when the jockey asked for a long one, up came the horse.. Fast, fluent. A film of this race should be obligatory viewing for all 5-yearold would-be steeplechasers.
It was Monet Garden’s 16th win... What a servant, what a horse. What pleasure he gave us today. Thank you.
Up at Haydock there was an interesting long-distance ‘chase. This was won, again with a marvellousluy bold display of staying and galloping by another grey, Silver by Nature. He was also very impressive and it was a performance that had Grand National written all over it. He diposed of the winners of the English Grand National, two Winners of the Scottish version and three winners of the Welsh National. Those sadly included Dream Alliance, the horse bred on an allotment. We fear the dream may be ended as we know he’s suffered a terrible tendon injury in the past. Let us hope it has not re-curred. Jumping fences at 30 m.p.h leaves little room for weakness. Special mention of a brave 2nd, our little favourite young hurdler, the little mare, Diktalina. Beaten in a good class juvenile, but not disgraced!

 If one of the horses suffers a cut we’re assured the vet will treat it and it will be fine. This is good, if rather superficial. But the jockeys are treated like super-humans.. We propose all would-be, well-fed, well-paid commentators who have not ridden in a race ever, or have not down so in the last 30 years, should have to take the small test of being galloped over by a field a of hurdlers. After this we think the commentaries would become more human..This wouldn’t harem the sport at all, on the contrary.

 The top riders are house-hold names and super-stars. Nobody wants to be an eventer, which is a rather second class thing to be, on the Contintent. Yet if we ask the young girls at Pony Club camps if they are hoping to become show-jumpers, like Ellen, they will shake their heads and declare themselves future eventers. All of them.

A further problem is that Britain has no really structured industry for the breeding of show-jumpers. Countries such as Germany and Holland have been selecting show-jumping horses for generations and are reaping the benefits. A young show-jumper is a valuable animal on the Continent. In Britain people will pay more for a young eventing prospect..Or just get something from the continent, Romania is an excellent source, see our Veterinary Page.
 Veterinary expenses are colossal in Britain. Breeders are less knowledgable and the public couldn’t care less.
Under these circumstances it will take some years to rectify the problems of show-jumping.
First of all, it has to become more desirable, more appealing and more sexy. It costs £49 to have a single ticket to British the show-jumping champinships, as a spectator. This is not good value.In Europe, you can go to the top shows for a few Euros.Just as you can go racingfor a fraction of the price. Britain needs to wake up! The Whitaker factor is not enough, it may actually be a deterent.

Swamp Fever, or Equine Infectious Anemia has been found in Britain. Two horses have been destroyed and 50 other in-contacts, on a yard in Wiltshire, are awaiting the result of tests. All horses that test positive, as carriers, will be destroyed under Defra rules.The disease is notifiable.
The two affected horses were not ill and came into the country on a lorry-load from Romania, where the disease is endemic. It is spread by biting flies. In winter-time, the risk of spread is small so hopefully it will be contained. Tomorrow we shall look on the question wether there should be more testing done. Importing horses is currently very easy, whereas travel with your dogcurrently needs six months preparation...
To find out what Infectious Anemia is,  go to our Veterinary Page , 21.01.10

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZhtiCqBAGM

How Dream Alliance won a Grand National at Chepstow. Let the world keep it’s dreamers! 28.12.09

Dreams do come true. 28.12.09
 The likelyhood that a severly injured horse, who more or less severed a tendon, who was bred on a Welsh allotment out of a mare purchased in a lay-by, from a boy on a scooter, should win a Welsh Grand National is a much more distant chance than the 20-1 starting price suggested. The Horse called Dream Allicance is owned by a syndicate of 23, from the Welsh village of Cefn Fforest. They pay £ 10/each for his upkeep every week.

Jan and Brian Vokes with Recurring Dream, a half sister to Dream Alliance.Sadly, Rewbell herself died foaling in 2009.

Dream Alliance was not bred with a silver manger in his garden shed.. His breeder, though is a lady with a remarkable insight into animal breeding.. She is Jan Vokes from Cefn Fforest and she and her husband Brian have one tenth of an acre, an allotment on reclaimed mining mountain, with a little shed on it.Jan took a fancy to breding a race-horse, after some success with pigeons. Racing is racing..Her whippets had been pretty good too.

Dream Alliance hits the last in an otherwise foot-perfect round.

Brian and Jan looked out for an affordable mare. They found a local thoroughbred, who was owned by a lad on a scooter. A deal was struck in a lay-by and Rewbell became the property of the Vokes’ for the grand sum of £ 300. She had previously had some crossbred foals ( super eventing material there!). The next step was to find an affordable sire.The choice was narrowed down, the names of the suitors written on the back of beeer-mats in the pub and a draw settled the matter. Thus Bien Bien became the sire of today’s Welsh Nationa Hero, Dream Alliance.
Dream Alliance was syndicated out amongst friends and went on to show exceptiona promise for a lad from mining allotment. Then he severed a tendon in the 2008 Grand National. Hopeless case. His prpoud owners found no less than £ 20.000 to restore him to a quiet retirement.. Racing again was very unlikely following the surgery and stem-cell treatment. Today he ran a couragous race and beat Silver by Nature, in sticky going, and in only his second race for 18 months. Prior to his injury he had highclass form, but this was some come-back and some training performance by Philip Hobbs.. His rider, by the way, Tom O’Brien, had just recovered from a broken leg. it was his first ride after thsi little mishap.
The story is so unlikely that 20-1 must be the shortest odds ever offered! The horse is now 33-1 for the Grand National itself. let us hope his tendon is cool tomorrow.Long live the Dreams!

The time has come: he has joined the truly greats. It cannot be said that he beat a fantastic field, but he did what he set out to do and in superb style.His jumping problems are a thing of the past and his cruising speed is something else. The race lacked excitment, in truth, but it was a wonderful moment and the horse seems to have improved. He is bred in France and French breds are sometimes accused of being early maturing but not of lasting well... Kauto Star is now rising 10. He appears to be at his prime. Long may it last. Here is to the Star of Kempton, Happy New Year to you and we hope to see you at Cheltenham!

The Christmas hurdle was won by Go Native.Just. Not in Kauto style,but by the shortest of noses, from Starluck. Binocular finished third, one and a half lenghts behind. Go Native actually ran brilliantly and displayed top-class hurdling, but he seems to think getting to the front is all that is required, then he takes a little breather. Starluck ran reallyw ell, and the Cheltenham hill would surely not prove ahindrance. yet I cannot help but think that Go Native has more ability than the short distance showed. he did in fact rally when he noticed that Starluck was catching up. Not the easiest of rides, in the highest class. in other words. A good horse though, and a bit of a looker too. Well ridden by Davy Condon, a lesser known jockey, perhaps, but a capable one.He is trained by Joel Meade. It was a good, thrilling race with the good news of rising young stars holding their own amongst the hurdlers.

I Horses would appear in front of my Christmas -glazed eyes.. I would hardly watch, it was no more than a peaceful interlude to a trying couple of days.
 Then , one year a grey novice hurdler appeared. He had something about him.. I woke up and watched alertly.The young horse set off to make all the running. He was miles in front, clearly a very strong horse His jumping was spectacular to the point of being suicidal.By the second last or last hurdle, he stood of so far he skydived onto it and fell.
 But he had made an impression. Ir looked out for his next run in the papers. And the next. Very soon this horse became very well known and the most loved British race-horse of all time.
 He had an easy, memorable name: Desert Orchid. It became a household name..For seven or eight years there could be no Boxing day without Dessie. A nation stopped to watch the horse they loved. This horse did more for jump-racing than any amount of governement spending ever could. He moved our hearts. We had to see him! And see him we did, he was astonishingly tough. He pulled out year in and year out, becoming whiter than snow as the years passed.
But his heart was always in the game, his heart was truly bigger than himself. He didn't just want to win, he had to be in front all the way. He was perhaps best at Kempton, although he won everwyhere, even at Cheltenham, which was the course that suited him the least. Desert Orchid was much better going right-handed than left-handed. He won on the firm, he won in the mud.. He won! Sometimes he was beaten but we just loved him all the same. He might have been beaten but clearly regarded that in the Winston Churchill manner, merely a temporary set-back, to be put right next time out.
 He was not as great as Arkle, no handicapper needed to re-write the book for him, but he was outstanding in his attitude.
He was also very good-looking and stood out in his grey coat, with his ears pricked, always pulling, always keen to go. And could he jump!
 Only the other day, whilst looking for something else I came across an old video of him winning the King George in 1987. I had forgotten. I had forgotten how he jumped, how powerful he was and how he just ran his great heart out.. Oh yes, suddenly I knew that whilst we all respect and admire Kauto Star, who looks set to equal Dessie's 4 King George wins tomorrow, we can never take Kauto Star into our hearts the way we did Desert Orchid.
 Kauto is a very good horse indeed. Brilliant, perhaps. But he lacks that charisma. And compared to Desert Orchid at his best, Kauto’s jumping is fast and fluent but it never takes your breath away. Dessie's jumping did. Riding him must have been both frightening and exhilerating. Fences, to him, were there so he could show off, so he could annihilate the young pretenders, demoralize them from the front.
Yes, we make no bones about it, we raise our x-mas glasses, not to Kauto Star tomorrow, but to the memory of that great grey horse, now grazing the heavenly pastures. And maybe, if you cheer his modern rival home loudly enough, the noise will reach him,in a muffled way and he will prick his grey ears and think of times past...Perhaps there is an inviting hedge up there, too Just grazing is rather boring for such horse. I like to think of him showing those unfortunate young horses that broke their necks and share his pasture, just how to do it.

 Mick says “At 50 I still feel fit and sharp enough to do any horse justice but, after the season I have just had in partnership with Sea The Stars, I have the privilege of being able to end my career as a jockey on an incredible high and that's what I want to do. "I leave with a huge sense of gratitude to all the great horses I have ridden, all the great trainers whose genius developed those champions and everybody else in racing, from the stable lads to the owners, who have made me deeply thankful for my involvement in the game.

": Teamwork is the key to success in racing and I have been blessed with some of the best alliances a jockey could have."The most important support of all throughout my career has, naturally, come from my wife, Catherine, along with my family and friends.Both Catherine and our two precious daughters, Sinead and Aisling, know how much they mean to me."
 sea the Star’s record-breaking and sensational season can hardly be bettered. Mick will never have a chance like that again and he’s right to go out whilst so totally at the top of the game. Sea the Stars gave Kinane with the perfect end to a glittering career that yielded four 2,000 Guineas, three Derbys, two Oaks, a St Leger, five King Georges and six St James's Palace Stakes - more than any other rider.
Mick Kinane was also highly successful at home, in Ireland, , winning 14 Irish Classics as well as a record seven Irish Champion Stakes. Kinane's talent was not restricted to Britain and Ireland and he can count three Prix de l'Arc de Triomphes, a Melbourne Cup, a Belmont Stakes, and three victories at the Breeders' Cup to his name.
Mick Kinane, we shall miss you but this was the time to take your final bow.

 The Toast of Japan: Vodka! 02/11/09

The Japan Cup turned itno a very exciting race. The Japanese crowd were ecstatic when their own favourite, the 5-year old mare Vodka won. Just.. The distance was further than her best but she just managed. Our hope, cConduit, made an honourable effort but finished about 3 lengths behind, in 4th place. The second was also Japanese. Vodka is the bay horse, furtherst away from the camera. She has had a brilliant career, she is the only mare to have won the Japanese Derby and is theri highest rated mare, ever, I think.
This season has been a wonderful one for fillies.
Normally, when a filly is born, the heart of the owner sinks. Naturally, a live foal is better than a dead foal, but a thoroughbred filly is only worth about half that of her male sibling.!

He jumped, but we have to admit it, he didn’t look special. Denman was only warming up, that became clear. At the crossfence he put in a truly spectacular leap. From then on, he was in business. Barber’s Shop and What a Friend still looked threatening. At the third last Denman settled the issue by suddenly taking two lenghts from them over the fence. What a Friend, in receipt of 22 lbs, gamely ran on ,even though he was very tired. Denman used the last fence to his advantage. It was hard on What a Friend’s jockey Sam Thomas, who rode Denman to his victory in the 2007 Hennessy. Sam was quick to praise the winner as being “ a freak.” He is certainly that rare thing: a true steeplechaser. For a 600 kg athlete (at a guess) he is very nimble in his foot-work.

Mike Smith was legged up. Banners came out in the crowd, saying “Go Zenyatta, Go”. Now excitment was mounting suddenly. The other runners walked around sedately, like riding school hacks. Zenatta kept digging and striking with her front feet. She looked very tense.
Worse was to come. Down at the start she loaded very reluctantly but stood quietly once in her stall.
Quality Street, a potential pace-maker had a sort of fit and behaved appallingly, refusing to load for a long time, then going absolutly berserk in the stall. In Europe he would have been withdrawn at once, immediately. Here he had to be inspected by a vet, still bucking and kicking outside the stalls. The others were backed out again. Quality Street was announced a non-runner and thankfully taken out of the way.
Now it was Zenyatta who looked distincltly mulish about going back into her stall again. At last they were in. The mare now lumbered out of the stalls very slowly, some 15 lengths behind the main group of runners. The Europeans were well in contention. The pace was moderate but not slow. Zenyatta lumbered on like a disunited giraffe. I thought she had gone lame. Her jockey urged her on. She was catching up! By the bend she was at the back of the field. Then she somehow came through, on the outer middle of the others, ears back. She had found her gallop at last. Now she was not stopping. But the post was nearby. Gio Ponti , America’s best turf horse loked like winning.Not to Zenyatta. She did the impossible. She passed them all, ears now pricked. She was still going away at the post, hard to pull up, in fact.
It was some performance, the best of her life. Oh that she could have run in the Arc de’l Triomphe! She looked like she would gfind a mile and a half easier! This was her first run against colts. Well, poor boys, she is intimidating in her prescence.She made it 14 wins out of 14 starts, an incredible record.

 The mare is like some untamed powerhouse.
The beaten horses were good. Henry Cecil’s Twice Over finished an honourable third.
The day, the meeting, belonged to Zeynatta though.
And I so nearly went to bed! I would have missed the most exciting flat-race I have ever seen.

 Sir Michael Stout’s charge Conduit won an eventful Mile and a half turf Classic, his second Breeders’Cup victory. He frightened us a lot though, Precious Passion who went 15 lengths clear proved rather hard to catch! Conduit left it a lillte late, but he got their. Sar Re Mi finished third and ran another cracking good race. This was the 6th win for Europe! Great!

Goldikova, a most elegant mare struck a blow for France and Freddie Head by winning the Turf Mile on firm ground in an exceptionally fast race. Goldikova, ridden by Olivier Peslier, came from way off the pace with a fantastic turn of foot. This was her second win, she won the same race last year! What an impressive performance. Courageous Cat ran a blinder to finish second after being up with the pace all the way. Goldikova’s victory was so far the most impressive of the meeting. She looked a trifle stubborn at the start and suffered some interference turning into the straight, but , to be honest, she was never going to be beaten.A grand mare.

Breeders’ Cup Sprint,on dirt. 07/11/09
A very exciting race with a 4-way photo-finish. It was won by Dancing in Silks(left) from Crown of Thorns and Cost of Freedom. Gayego looked magnificent before the race but started slowly. He finished well and ended up 4th, maybe 2 short heads behind the winner. A costly little bit of distance! Dancing In Silks, 25-1, must be given full credit for really trying.Fleeting Spirit was outclassed on the day and finished 7th.
 Pounced won the Juvenile Turf race for John Gosden and Frankie Dettorie. Pounced was very brave, Frankie said delightedly after giving him a hands and heels ride. Naturally there was also the famous flying dismount!

Godolphin bagged one of the many Juvenile races ( the Grey Goose) in very good style with Vale of York(right) getting the better of Looking at Lucky, who actually was anything but lucky in running. The winner was ridden by a “homemade” Godolphin jockey, Ahmed Ajtebi, formely a camel rider. Well, Vale of York is no camel! It was yet another close and thrilling finish..The Americans seemed to think this horse might be a Kentucky Derby contender next year.This meeting is producing very exciting finishes.
Radiohead got shoved about early on and never recovered.

The young foal will have accompanied his mother to the stud selected for her next covering, so will already have travelled before being a month old, in most cases.

The very same foal may well be entered for the Foal Sales in the late autumn of the year he was born. This means that he will have been rugged, handled, led out, trotted up, stood up and loaded in and out of horse-boxes yet again. He will have experienced the people coming in to look at his legs, the noise of the loud-speakers, the crowded athmosphere of the sales-ring, before being led out at the fall of the hammer and maybe, already having a change of homes.
At 18 monts the process is likely to be repeated. This time it will involve more preparation. He’s older now and must look the part.. On to the horse-walker with him, get him a bit conditioned up! Tip lots of feed into him so he gets muscled and fit looking. Lead him out for miles! Put aluminium plates or little light shoes on him, he must move freely, no sore feet can be tolerated. There is no time for the common cold, jab him with all available vaccinations. This Sale will be a date with destiny. If he makes good money to a wealthy owner he will be very likely to end up in a leading trainers yard.
If he’s a sharp sort he may well end up with people who specialize in producing 2-yearolds for re-sale in the Breeze-Up Sales. Yes, get him home, break him in with a light-weight lad and a little saddle on his back. There is little time to loose! He must now canter out sharply. In racing yards there are half-speed canters... To most people these would seem remarkably near full-scale racing pace. Our little lad, now turned 2 years old had better get the hang of going out with his mates, canter upsides or singly and looking sharp about it. As the year turns towards spring, into that horse-box and off to the Sales again! 
 This time a sharp and promising work-out is expected on the morning before he goes tthrough the ring. Stop watches will be out. His action will be scrutinized. Can he go faster? And how soon?
Through the sales-ring again: Look perky my chap! It matters... If everything has gone well it is possible that his breeder has made some money on him, the ‘Pin-Hooker’ who bought him as a foal and sold him as a yearling may have made money and now, yet again, he stands to make somebody a profit or a loss.
 Yet, don’t think racing people regard horses as nothing more than figures on a balance sheet. All this time, the various people involved will have been there because they LIKE yearlings, they are knowledgable about pedigrees, they are hopeful his family is one that is in the making... These are gamblers, skilled gamblers..There is lots of money involved and also reputations at stake.

      The Thoroughbred. A tribute by Gamebird to the ultimate Athlete.02/010/09
Lots of people find racing boring. Even if they like horses they aren’t gripped by excitment whilst considering who might win the 2-yearold selling-plate at Wolverhampton on a monday evening. The truth is that even keen Thoroughbred admirers, unless involved with the winning 2-yearold, find it hard to gather much enthusiasm for those bread and butter races, which are somehow necessary for betting, and maybe for the breeding industry.
 But from time to time something happens in racing. A superstar comes along. This lifts the whole game to another level of interest.
 To go back a little along the evolutionary chain, the horse developed from a small grazing-animal, living in woodland, to a very specialised flight animal of the type that now can be seen in the ancient Prezwalskis Horse, Exmoor Ponies and other breeds that have altered little. It is simply Man that has speeded up evolution of the horse. The race-horse has been bred for a long time, 1000’s of years, which isn’t long in evolutionary terms. Yet even the slowest Thoroughbred can outrun the fastest Icelandic horse with ease. In order to do so, hardiness and a good constitution have been sacrificed to a degree. The racing thoroughbred is not selected for it’s ability to fatten well for slaughter,nor is it selected for having good enough feet to manage on rocky terrain without shoes, which Native breeds can do with ease. The breeding of thoroughbreds requires a lot of knowledge and a lot of input of all kinds, yet the selection is not decided by the State, nor by panels of experts. It is simply decided by the horses themselves, on the race-course. This simple system has made the thoroughbred early maturing, flighty and also surprisingly co-operative at a young age. It has produced a streamlined animal that can gallop rather than a powerful stately beast. The outstanding race-horse gets an outstanding chance at stud. He’s often successful in passing on his fleetness and thus the names of Hyperion, Northern Dancer and so on infiltrate the pedigrees. Some great race-horses make no real impression at stud, neither the great Brigadier Gerard nor the much loved Mill Reef made much impact. But when you get one that does, he influences the whole breed , world-wide, for years to come. His racing career may seem brief in these days of inflated stallion values. His stud career can be long and so can those of his sons and grand-sons, should he turn out to be a sire of sires.
He may pass on some faults, such as fragile feet, or a rather non-descript trot but the truth is that if his off-spring are good enough we’ll just get better farriers to deal with the feet.
What he will not pass on is slowness, nor bad temper. If his offspring are slow, well, he won’t beget very many once this has been discovered. If they are un-cooperative on the race-course they won’t win often enough. Good jockeys and trainers can overcome a degree of difficulties, the great Nijinsky was very highly strung, for example. But the truly mutinous won’t win races and therefore un-selects himself. It is that simple. Trainers and jockeys help, but they can’t put more speed or stamina in, they can only handle what they are presented with. It really is a form of Natural Selection which has worked extraordinarily well. To return to the beginning I’ll leave you with the word’s of John Oxx, Sea the Star’s trainer:
"He's one of those landmark horses that come along every 25-30 years that we always remember and he's the nearest living thing to a machine. If any of us is still around at the end of the century, I doubt there will be too many other horses who have achieved what he has done."
 Let us hope he can win on Sunday,he has so far lifted this season way out of the ordinary and is providing us with immense pleasure and excitment..

Le Grand Prix de Cycliste de Gabarret.
Watching todays rather low-key, but well flashed up Tour tof Britain has reminded Annie about her one and only ride in a Grand Prix.
 It was on a horse.It was not ashow-jumping Grand Prix. It was a bicycling Grand Prix.
 To ride a horse when other people ride mere bicycles lends a certain excitement to the whole business of cycle-racing, an otherwise a rather un-interesting and downmarket sort of sport. But if you add a couple of galloping horses in the mid-field of the cyclists the excitement mounts for everyone, including the cyclists.
 You may well ask how this came about. With all the flashing policemen and the loud-hailers it is clearly not possible to make a mistake such as riding out for a pleasant hack along the route of the Grand Prix. Clearly, you don’t know our Annie or her sometimes dozy daughter. This pair managed to leave their delightful French propery, just outside the village of Gabarret in Aquitaine, France, on the morning of the Gabarrean Grand Prix. Cycling is very popular amongst the slim French. Much more popular than ,say, eventing, for example. But not so popular as to make any Flashing Policemen take part…
 Nevertheless, the roads in the vicinity were clearly marked with signs of the impending race. Annie and her daughter knew these races to be very big and full of competitors. They had lived in the locality for some time, after all and had learnt about French cyclists. Or so they thought.
They decided to avoid the main road, which was well signed as part of the circuit. The circuit is smaller, it is not the Tour the France but rather the tour of the village and its environs many times over. For hours , in fact.
 So, wisely, Annie and her daughter took their back road out, under the magnificent oak-trees and exited on a little lane by the local camp-site. This was not a part of the cycle race at all.
So, when after a mile or so of hacking down the quiet wooded valley, they heard the approach of a car with a loud-hailer they got a little alarmed and looked for escape routes. One side was a vertical climb on rock, with trees growing in all possible and impossible places. On the lower side was a huge ditch ( the region specializes in dykes) and following that a steep drop, wooded, to a stream at the bottom. Neither route had any possible appeal. Now the car was upon them and issuing hails of ‘ Attencion! Attencion!’. It was a bit late for that. The horses, overtaken by this flashing and loud-hailing vehicle broke into a canter on the down-hill slope, which was tarmaced. Not ideal for galloping on.
Next the leading cyclists were upon them These shouted angrily and loudly but overtook the now galloping pair. The horses gathered speed on the downhill tarmac.
More and more cyclists grouped around them. The cyclist did not seem happy. Nor were the riders. The next mile or so were a trifle frightening, in fact.
The riders were steadily passed by, the leading batch or 50 or so cyclists, but still, more and more cyclist joined in, perhaps the leaders were even now doing their very next lap.There was no end to them in their bright nylon garb!
At the bottom of the hill the riders were aware of their only escape route: A V-shaped junction. This proved to be blocked by non-comprehending spectators. The riders looked at each other, momentarily, and, in unison aimed the horses at the spectators. At the last possible moment these parted. There was space amongst the cars to gallop through. The riders, shaking by now, steadily pulled up their sweaty and agitated steeds, without any backward glances. In fact, they agreed a speedy trot for another mile to be a diplomatic move.
The horses had to endure a very long ride now, as the race around Gabarret went on for another two hours! To return home was unthinkable. Not only the cyclist, but the organizers and the spectators to be faced. No, our riders kept riding and only returned to home much later.
 Strangely, the incident was never mentioned to them. Not ever, not by anyone in Gabarret at all.
  Yet it was not a dream, it was a living nightmare and it really happened. 
 For the record we give you the horses names:
 Annie’s daughter was riding Stormhill Russian and Annie was on Stormhill Gazelle.

 Moorland Totilas The stunning Dressage Stallion:
Countrytalk wish to make a clear statement. We have had several enquiries as to this horse’s stud-fee. As far as we can ascertain he DOES NOT STAND AT STUD. He is unlikely to do so until he has finished his dressage career. Stud duties, even by A.I, are deemed to upsetting for his temperament and too risky for his body.
We don’t know to whom you should direct enquiries but we suggest you use his sire, Gribaldi, instead.Gribaldi is a good proven stallion. He has Totilas to his credit, for a start...And no, we don’t stand to gain from this recommendation.

Anne Ratcliff, of Stormhill Stud , in Devon,volunteers her stallion Kremlin who is much cheaper and a proven sire of eventers instead.

A Dressage Sensation: Moorlands Totilas gains 89.4%. and wins the World Master Freestyle. This horse looks difficult but can he trot! Our editor thought it was passage but it turned out only to be his working trot. Do click on the link to youtube and see his test, dressage enthusiasts are flocking to his next outing at Hickstead. We may join them, this one will make the worm in the brain spread very fast, this is something outstanding. Give him a look even if dresage is not your thing, he’s sensational.His rider is Edward Gal, representing the Netherlands,we think. Again, there was confusion at the prizegiving and no national flag or Anthem to give us a clue. And he’s hoping to reperesent the USA in the Olympics.. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEMHt1dUzQg

  What do horses like doing? Countrytalk finds out.
This is a unique survey, by Stargazer, straight from the horses mouth.
 There is always opposition to the way race-horses are ridden. Too much use of the whip.. Too much hard training. The horses are very young and immature.Break- downs and breakages are only too common.
 Polo-ponies have had never had much publicity but now it seems they are over-stimulated by drugs to the point of death.
  Dressage riders from all over the world claim that dressage is totally natural for a horse and that all horses can do the movements when loose. This may be so, but would they get very good marks for their excited passagings with their tails up? It is doubtful, the judges would write’ Not uphill enough’. ‘Tense’, the judge would say. . Horses rarely do the piaffe of their own accord.If they do, it usually ends up with trying to jump an unsuitable obstacle from a standstill and getting injured. 

Show-jumping horses hardly ever practice over their fences when let loose in the training paddock. Do carriage horses go out and stand patiently by the carriage, waiting to be hitched up. Probably not.
 So, what jobs do the horses actually like doing? It is about time that somebody found out. Stargazer has set out to do a proper survey. there are racehorses, polo-ponies , dressage-horses and now some top show-jumpers  answer questions about drugs.Two injured eventers tell us what they think. Happy Hackers, and hunters what do they enjoy? Broodmares now, life at stud, what is that like? Sexy stallions with one-track minds? Sporthorses, do they like wooden dummy mares? And the happiest horses in the world.

  In the middle of the Flat -racing season, Stargazer took the opportunity to talk to a couple of race-horses.
 First she talked to a 2-yearold sprinter. She asked him if he felt very undeveloped and immature. He gave her rather a  sharp glance and got her to leave his box at some speed. She understood him to say that he felt well developed for his age and not too young to know what’s what. His mate, in the box next door added that he likes whipping round and dropping the apprentice jockeys, it is a real laugh, he commented. And I can buck and skip and people really admire me for looking and feeling well, I like that he further informed Stargazer, who was very impressed with his outgoing personality and generally confident air, quite different from a 2-yearold half-bred horse in a field...
  Next she talked to an easier chap, a 4-year old gelding. ‘ Do you feel worried about your lack of success,’ she asked the rather moderate miler. He looked blank and answered he gets he best of everything, food, farrier, nice companions, turn-out every afternoon. He has his very own totally devoted personal attendant on call 24 hrs a day. ‘But you get smacked in your races, and you don’t win’ Stargazer forced the conversation. The moderate miler didn’t look very concerned. He admitted he might have had the odd smack, in the heat of the moment but he said he couldn’t really remember because he loves galloping in the middle of the bunch and he is very excited when he’s racing. Instead he mentioned the lovely holiday he gets for 3 months a year, in total freedom. ‘ Does the future concern you?’ asked Stargazer. The Miler said he tends to live in the NOW and doesn’t worry that much about the future, not as long as the present is good. Stargazer had intended to ask him if he would like it if he gets sent to a lower-class racing country, such as Spain,or Madagaskar, but she decided it would be cruel to introduce such a concept into his contented life.
She went on to talk to a fairly successful hurdling mare, who was out in a field, enjoying her summer holidays.
 ‘Do you feel you get sent long distances too early?’ Stargazer asked the mare. The mare gazed into the far distance, as horses do, and replied that she was not fast enough for sprints, not having that kind of breeding. Besides, she had heard that the starting stalls could be frightening. Personally, she said, she gets excited to see some hurdles out in front of her and she just likes to go fast at them and show the youngsters where to get off. She looked rather disdainfully at a light-boned two-yearold that shared her paddock. Stagazer felt obliged to ask: ‘ What abut the hard riding, the long slogs in the mud, the hard finishes?’ The mare didn’t seem to know what to say. ‘Actually’, she said,’ I get the best of everything and sometimes I have to hurry a bit. It is a minor matter’. She further informed Stargazer that she was resting a leg a bit and might be off to find a husband soon.She sort of smiled and looked rather happy.

POLO PONIES: What do they feel ? 26/06/09

 It is a great misfortune that none of our reporters is personally aquainted with one of the charming Argentinian polo players that play on the International Circuit. We are working on rectifying this problem. We wish to provide more information of the Jilly Cooper type of these Jet-setters and visit them on their estancias.
In the meantime, Stargazer found a retired Polopony to interview. He appeared very happy in his retirment as a pony-clubber and occassional hunter. When she asked if he missed his proper polo playing days he chewed for some time and then acknowledged that it had been fun to have a good old argy- bargy from time to time. “What about all that tack? “ asked Stargazer, “those sharp gags, those standing marrtingales?” The Pony nodded thoughtfully and said it had indeed been a bit hard to know what the riders wanted him to do. He had apparently lacked ball-sense, himself, but been very tough in ride-offs.
His current young rider, a boy of 14, assured Stargazer that the pony loves the comfort of travelling in a roomy trailer, after years of being travelled in the tight inter-continental nose to tail fashion of polo-ponies. The pony nodded and added he had never liked his winter holidays out in the rain all that much either. All in all, he seemed very content in his semi-retirement. His young rider added that the pony was a brilliant jumper but that he, himself, fell off sometimes as he got surprised by the excellent brakes and flew over his head. The pony tossed his mane to show Stargazer that he liked having a mane again, in the fly-season.

Shocking truths from the Dressage Horses! Their riders may have a worm in the brain.

 “ When I was young I used to go in a paddock an gallop around, but that is a long time ago” he added.Stargazer thought to herself that the gelding was probably quite valuable too. She decided to ask a rather more moderate gelding in a less smart yard.
 “Do you go out hacking” she ventured, for a start. The less valuable gelding looked immensly surprised.” No, my rider likes to circle, I think it is a disorder humans get, they cannot get straight again”, he assured Stargazer in a friendly manner. He seemed less stressed. “ Sheep get this worm in the brain too, it is called being giddy”, he added. “ I just go along with the circling, it is easier that way. The I get put away with carrots. I just try not to think at all, it is the best method. Dressage horses that think, they get very stressed”.. He nodded thoughtfully and seemed to have his life sorted anyway.

 The mare indicated a packet of drugs called Regumate, outside her box. Starazer understood. The mare was not allowed to come into season but was fed hormones to regulate her to a non-cycling status during the jumping season. “ Do you mind?” she asked the helpful mare. “ Not really” said the mare, I feel a bit unconcentrated when I’m in season. I like jumping.” Stargazer took the opportunity to ask if the fences were to big and too high. “ Not really,not for me “ the mare replied. “I like jump-offs best, I love coming fast around the corners.” Stargazer had to admire this smallish mares guts, the jumps looked frighteningly big to the reporter. “Bad riders”, the gelding suddenly added, having come round to the door again,” bad riders, they are my only problem. But you can always stop suddenly, and drop them off.” He laughed in a horsey way. Stargazer found him a bit enigmatic, was he joking?

She went over to the ring-side to study the action. A handsome but heavily built pie-bald came out of the ring. Stargazer asked him if he minded the effort required. “No, not really, he said. This is the highest I can jump though” he added ponderously. “Do they beat you to make you jump higher? “ Stargazer asked. The stallion looked surprised and said”No, no that would’t work at all.” Stargazer asked if he was fed drugs but he seemed a little green and didn’t answer. She thought he didn’t know what hormones were, not really. A groom nearby told her that he was given antibiotics sometimes as he was prone to swollen legs. Well, Stargazer thought, that’s just normal. Basically he seemed a slow-witted but kind horse.

The little mare Stargazer had spoken too earlier came into the jump-off and jumped a blisteringly fast and economical clear round.

photos. A.Ratcliff

She pranced out, looking proud. She snorted at Stargazer, in passing, to say, “Did you see that!” It was clear that she understood all about jump-offs. Her rider was patting her and her groom opened a packet of Polos.
 The gelding who had been so easily offended came into the ring, to jump. He started off jumping very big and with great care. His rider was urging him to go faster round the corners, against the clock now. This caused him to get his striding wrong for the combination and all of a sudden he stopped dead. His rider didn’t.
 The rider led him out of the ring, disqualified and ashamed. The gelding was still laughing and Stargazer felt guilty. Had he done this on purpose, to demonstrate his skill just for the interview, or was this normal? She left the ring-side rather hurriedly.
All in all, the show-jumping horses looked much happier and seemed more in charge of their situation than she had anticipated. She decided that it was best not to ask the riders themselves what drugs they might be on, the gelding had un-nerved her a bit. 

The Eventers.   back to top of page
 It was very hard to find an eventer to interview. Their stables were empty and their horse-boxes gone. The student-grooms, left here and there, in the bigger yards explained that the Eventers had either gone to competitions or else they had gone to Dressage training sessions or, in some cases, to have a gallop on proper training gallops. Stargazer understood she should have made proper appointments with the eventers. They are very busy horses indeed.In the end she found two injured eventers on box-rest so she had a chat with them.

‘Does jumping into water worry you’, she wondered. The younger one admitted that it had ,to start with, because he had heard stories about alligators. The older gelding just looked superior and Stargazer understood he was the type of horse that is unfazed by those sort of things. “ I hate it when they wash me with icy water,” he announced rather unexpectedly. One can perhaps understand that. She wondered if winning was important to them but neither seemed to quite understand the question. “ So long as I get a good gallop over the fences and my rider steers properly everything is fine” the younger horse concluded. Both of them chewed on some quality haylage and agreed that it would be better, really, without all the hassle of the dressage circles and the pesky poles in the show-jumping. Then we wouldn’t have to train so much. It can get a bit stressful, they clarified.
All in all, they seemed reasonably content, even if on the sick-list.

 “ It is not safe to go in whilst she is eating” she added. Stargazer agreed with that. Even the sharp two-yearold racehorse had been friendlier than this Happy Hacking mare. Stargazer asked if Ebony was a lovely ride. “ She is a bit lazy on her own and she spooks without the calmers”, said the frazzled looking rider. “ I’m just going to try a new bit to see if that makes her happier”.
“ I can’t ride her in company because she kicks,” she further informed Stargazer.” On her own she hangs to home a lot. But she is getting on a bit,she is 12 and maybe I’ll soon retire her and get another one. Obviously, I would keep Ebony for life, she has done so much for me. ”
 Our reporter was surprised, she had somehow thought Happy Hacks would be fun and relaxing and not require quite so much input. She turned to the part-arab, who had a charming friendly face. “Do you enjoy the hacks?” she asked him. He said he did, very much, especially if he could get a gallop on the common. This sounded better. “Are there any problems?” Stargazer hoped he would say no, but he pointed out that his rider was very nervous of cars and this made him a bit frightened himself. He nodded at the bucket of magnesium calmers and added that he always wished his rider would have one of those before going onto the main road. “It is very catching, if you feel the rider tendsing up you get worried yourself” he explained and told Stargazer he had been known to turn round and go home if he saw a doubledecker bus. “ I go to shows and gymkhanas too” he pointed out, saying he liked those but he didn’t like going into the trailer because it makes his rider so nervous to go into trailers.Some women don’t take to transport, he said.
HIs rider had by now come out of the tack-room carrying her saddle and bridle. She was well built herself and said she was going to get a horse-psychologist to examine the traffic-problem. Apparently the horse-whisperer thought the half-arab had issues in the past. “he is only 9 “she said,” quite young still”
 The little horse tossed his forelock very impatiently and muttered about the rider needing to see the whisperer herself.
It surprised Stargazer that the Happy Hackers had so many problems. On the other hand, they were remarkably well looked after, each having a multitude of inside and outside rugs, sheets, coolers, anti-fly rugs, sprays and suncreams at their disposal. It was clear they were much loved and well looked after. Possibly they were not totally content with this. Ebony’s rider now came over and said in a dreamy way that she would love Ebony to have a little baby. By A.I, she added, as it might be risky for Ebony to meet a real stallion. The rider looked very happy now. “ She would be a wonderful mum”, the rider added. Ebony didn’t bother to reply.. Stargazer and the gelding looked at each other but thought it unwise to comment.

Stargazer had been told by a passer-by that the gelding , called Bert, was absolutley brilliant and carries the Field -master. She asked Bert what his feelings about foxes were. He replied thoughtfully that he prefers a vegetarian diet himself. He conveyed the message that he loves going with the hounds and that he really enjoys being out in front of the other horses and assisting his rider with choosing a suitable line for the field to follow. He is looking at the hounds though, the fox is of no interest to him. No Bert said, the thing is to cross country, as fast as you can, in the group, or in Ber’s case, in front of it. Another passer-by (Bert’s field was just outside the village, on the main road) told Stargazer that Bert is absolutly fantastic at his job, and in the hunting-season looks a picture too.Bert nodded and said the summer holidays can get a bit long . A smaller horse now joined Bert and they stood swishing each others heads in a friendly manner. This one was not so experienced adn said he had to do some working hunter classes in the summer, which he said was ok, but too much hanging about. Not to mention all that standing in alorry on the show-ground.
Both of them assured Stargazer that hunting is the best thing in the world and the passer-by agreed and said both horses load themselves onto the lorry on hunting mornings. They cannot wait to go. Stargazer wondered about the ban on hunting and how it had affected the horses. They looked at each other and didn’t seem to know all that much about this issue.As they had been very helpful , Stargazer thanked them and didn’t press this point. “What about all the rain and bad weather?” she continued the conversation. They said it was shivery at times but you soon warm up again with the excitment.She understood that what mattered most to them was going in a group, at some speed. It was clear that horses love this more than anything else, and that, just like the race-horses, they understood and enjoyed their work.
 She wondered if they had problems with their riders, like the Happy Hackers seemed to. Bert and his friend shook their manes. “The riders?” they looked very surprised. “Sometimes they are a bit heavy and usually they want to go a bit slower,” the younger horse volunteered. “Basically we get on well with them. Mine just sits there.” Bert added. He looked as though he would be entirely capable of leading the field without a rider.” Do you get fed a lot of calmers and hormones ?” the reporter asked. “Not that I know” said one of the horses, They both shook their heads. “I get Economy Beef Nuts, they are delicious” Bert announced, slightly surprisingly. “I get pony-nuts said the younger horse”. They didn’t seem to know about electrolytes and hormone supplements. “ I have a salt-lick” Bert pointed out, clearly pleased with this fact. Stargazer left them to continue their wait for next season. they were happiest when in work, she thought to herself.
.

A younger mare was clearly very proud fo her filly-foal and didn’t even want to let Stargazer look at it. “It’s mine!” she announced, “all mine.” The old hunter-mare turned to another experienced matron, a thoroughbred, and the two murmured to themselves that the young mare had a lot to learn about life.
Stargazer had the same thought and asked them if they found weaning upsetting. “No” said the hunter-mare. “ I wish they would take this one away soon. He’s too big and strong, I feel exhausted, I shall be glad when they take him in.” The colt started suckling rather vigorously and headbutted the mare in the process. She put up with it but was clearly suffering. The other mare said she had been upset the first time a foal was weaned from her and the udder became so sore.Now she said, she had got used to it, and it was a bit of a relief as the weather always goes bad in the autumn and it is hard work feeding babies in the mud and rain, she added. The younger mare clearly had no idea about weaning yet. “ Why are you a brood-mare?” asked the reporter from a safe distance. The answer was that the young mare had been a bit over-sensitive and touchy. “ They called me difficult!” she announced, with a shrug. “ I just didn’t really like having them on my back. They have legs, after all.” This was a fair point, Stargazer had to admit, people do have legs.All the mares nodded and said there was a lot of poking about up their backsides with scanners. One of the mares added that she had never had a husband, only a vet. “I see a lot of him, though” she remarked.. All the mares nodded and said there was a lot of poking about up their backsides with scanners.The girl vets, they are nervous

At the big places you see the vets every day. A thoroughbred mare agreed, she said she never had a chance to even chat to her husbands, they were on and off so quick.” It is all what the vet says”, she sighed. Stargazer wondered if they minded being pregnant nearly all the time. They conferred and generally agreed that it is no holiday camp. “My fetlocks are practically gone” an older mare elaborated. “ I never get back in shape any more” said a cobby type. “ They just stitch me up” when really, I need a year off, she said dreamily. No,no, the hunter-mare, who was the wisests, informed them that it is risky to have years off. “ Down the road to Potters, “ she explained. Stargazer understood but they younger mares didn’t. “What is Potters?” asked the young thoroughbred. “Nobody has come back to tell us, ever,” said the hunter-mare sadly.
Stargazer had been going to ask about giving birth but by now she felt a bit shaken by all the discontent on the stud-farm. She thought it could wait until another time.
On her way home, she stopped by a small herd of Exmoor ponies by the roadside. They were not in talkative mood but they looked truly happy. But, if one asked them on a wet day in January, they may have had something to complain about too. Just now they looked fat and utterly content.

The Stud was located in top horse-country and it was very smart. Post and rails stretched for miles. There were shelterbelts and double railings, there were foaling boxes and stallion wings. Everything was spick and span.Cameras recorded every moving thing.
In the well swept entrance Stargazer met a small groom, of the old school, leading a Connemara pony stallion. Stargazer was a bit surprised, she had an appointment to see two very well-known Thoroughbreds.
 The Connemara nickered at her in a friendly manner and pranced a little to impress her. “This is the teaser” explained the stud-groom, whistling between some missing teeth at the little chap.” We call him Chippy. He’s a real good teaser, best in the business.” He opened the gate to a smallish paddock, next to a field with mares grazing. Chippy trotted off to gap in the railings with rubber mats under it. A couple of mares strolled up to chat to him at once. “ They really love Chippy!” said the groom.” It helps us tell who is in season”. One of the mares clearly fancied Chippy a lot, the other one squeled , kicked the rubber matting and walked away.
 The little stallion trotted back to speak to Stargazer. She asked if he didn’t get fed up, just talking to the girls and never getting to do any business with them. “ No ,” the studgroom explained,” he has the most super temperament. “ ‘ Have you seen the girls I get to talk to?’ the little stallion nudged Stagazer with his nose . “ The most beautiful in the world, I love a filly with really long legs. Hardly anybdoy gets to see these girls on a regular basis, like I do”, he further informed the reporter. The studgroom added that Chippy gets one or two Connemara mares of his own during the sason, but that he likes them less, it seems. The pony chewed on a polomint he had found in Stargazer’s pocket and twitched the skin on his withers. “Pony mares”, he said,disdainfully”they have such short legs”. Stargazer, looking over at the top class racing mares in the field next to him could see what he meant, there was a wonderful collection of mares. The little teaser was a lucky horse, and he knew it. “ I have the best of everything,” he said. The groom added that all visitors to the stud spoiled Chippy, who was such a nice little character that Stargazer found herself wishing she had a mare to send to him.
 Next whe was introduced to a very famous thoroughbred sire who , at 16 years old was tremedously successful with his offspring and commanded a stud-fee of unthinkable proportions. He was a big shiny chestnut but he looked rather lean. It was nearly August and the stud-season was over. It was clear that this horse had not yet relaxed, he looked ultra fit and paced around the stable in a het-up way during the conversation. Ther stud-groom explained he was having a short break before flying off to Australia, where he would immediately start on the Southern Hemisphere stud-season.
 The chestnut stallion complained that he had too much to do, service, service, service, he muttered.One wife after the other, not a chance to even ask their names. The Groom confirmed that the famous horse was getting a bit too many mares and was not eating up well. ‘Stress, stress stress’ hissed the stallion who seemed to have to repeat everything 3 times. The groom explained to Stargazer that the normal routine is for the stallions to cover a mare after breakfast and another one in the afternoon. But if there are 3 mares near ovulation the stallion has to cover the first one before breakfast and an extra one is fitted in at lunchtime before the usuall evening covering of the third mare.
“He’s always been rather a slow worker” said the Groom. “Nor do they get in foal first time, always”, he added and pointed to a superb-looking medium sized bay stallion in another box, with great respect. “ That chap, he said, he could cover four a day, never says no, quick as lightning about it.” It was clear that this was the groom’s favourite too. A Vet was just rushing by with some test-tubes of blood and DNA samples and added to the conversation that this second stallion was fantastically fertile.’His sperm-count is not countable, the vet giggled, it wriggles too much!’ 
 There was only one snag, Stargazer discovered, the goodlooking bay stallion’s progeny were failing to win much on the race-course at 2 years old. It seemed unlikely that he would be so popular next year. The Groom muttered something about export.. The stallion himself was mucnhing on a large lunchtime feed and told Stargazer he was very content. The older horse looked tired and said it was all well for the young ones, “ When you get to my age,” he commented, “ all the jet-setting takes it out of you. I never feeel I recover now and they want me to do more and more. I never have time for kiss and a cuddle. And I really fancy those common wives with big bottoms..” he looked wistful. The younger stallion looked surprised. “ Kisses and cudddles? Whatever for, Bang wham, thank you ma’m, that’s my style. And all the wives pregnant first go!”
 Certainly, Stargazer thought afterwards, life on a large stud was very busy. Of all the horses she had met, funnily enough she thought the pony teaser the happiest and most easy-going. She had imagined that Teasers would be very frustrated but this chap was happy as a sandboy in his chatting-up career..

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Sporthorse Stallions.

After the splendour of the thoruoghbred studfarms the visit to interview sporthorse stallions in England was a bit flat. Stargazer arrived at a renowned centre for semen collection and AI. There were several stallions in the boxers, waiting to perform their duty. Stargazer asked one of them where the mares were. He looked very sad indeed. ‘Mares?’ he said. ‘ Years since I saw a real girl or a wife. Now I just have wooden filly to play with’. He confided that it was not the same at all and that he missed having real wives. ‘It is hard to get excited abut a wooden doll’ he murmured. A passing student confirmed that it took hours of patience to collect semen from this gentle stallion.

The Happiest Horses in the World 18/08/09

We now have to ask Stargazer for some sort of result after interviewing so many horses.. She has been rather slow about finishing this job
The happiest horses she tells us are those that live and work in herds.
Racehorses are very happy because, although their environment is about as far from the wild as it is possible to get, nevertheless, their work is to do what horses do best: To run in a herd.
It is true that humans ask horses to run faster than is natural and have bred rather faster and more fragile athletes. In spite of this, to our surprise we find that the mind-set of the truly wild horse is very alive in the thorughbred race-horse. He wants to run with his herd. If it is away from a mountain lion or away from the jockey, well, running feels good. Running is what you do when you’re born to it.Nobody cares if a racehorse smashes his jockey’s nose with a wild fling of the head, not as long as he wins sometimes. And in return for that win, the race-horse gets excellent living quarters, good food in abundance, lightweitht riders, immensly well planned preparations, grooming, social contact with many others and can enjoy going about in a group, which is very natural. He may have to travel on aeroplanes or in horse-boxes, he may have to gallop on dirt or grass, he may go left handed or righthanded, jump obstacles or not, but , basically ,our racehorse has friends and he understands his job. If he is slow or unsound, well, he may come to a sad end but horses don’t worry about the future and for now he is very happy and well looked after.The odd smack with a whip is not important to him, he has after all grown up in a herd and been bitten and kicked and had to get out of the way before now. He understands the language.
 

Horse that live in family groups, in the wild, or on studs are also reasonably happy.It is agreeable to horses , just like humans, to have friends,and family all about them. They like to know who is boss and who is the bosses right-hand woman and so forth. Rank is hereditary and the Top Mare’s offspring will also have high rank. Once a group is settled there will be very little arguing about these matters, that’s just life to horses, you boot those under you and chat to your friends, scratch each other’s withers and are content if there is not too much rain and wind, or too many biting flies about.
 It surprised Stargazer that the little teaser should be a happy horse but he is having a good social life and, to a horse of a certain temeprament, that makes up for not actually getting much sex, he still has all that chatting to do and feels himself to be important. Horse, like people, like to be important and strut their stuff a bit.
 Humans care a lot about clothes and rugs and shiny bridles though. Horses don’t. Not at all. They like mud. They love a roll in the dust, a rub in the bushes, a nice covering of mud is ideal against the flies.
 The reason so many of the Happy Hackers were less than happy was simply this difference in values. Their riders love pampering them, buying smarter trailers, fashionable rugs, new bits, saddle-cloths etc.
But the horses don’t really notice those things. They want a good old canter with their friends, the odd buck and squeal, they love getting dirty and well, if their riders aren’t bossy, then the horses will be. Somebody has to take charge after all, when you meet that double decker bus. Going home is always a sensible option, in a crisis, to a horse.l
 We are now at is the end of this series, Stargazer is happy to go and inteview rodeo horse or mongolian pony racers but somebody would have to pay her tickets. And the horses are not very good at paying. They are all contentedly eating now.

The Middle Aged Dressage Testing.
 Whilst my friend Fleur rested on her laurels after our exciting outing to jump the 2’3 class at the local Hunter-trials( See below, under Badminton, being lower in every way) I got carried away by ambition...
 I wanted to fly sky-high and now compete at the local riding-club’s annual dressage competition. This desire only struck me as entries were closing. Hastily I rang the secretary and made myself a member and entered the simplest and most Preliminary competitions. Then it rather slipped my mind, after all, what could be simpler than to trot and canter a few stately circles on the Mannerly Mare? 3 days before the competition I thought perhaps roadwork is not that good as training for dressage. I made a huge effort, loaded the mare up and went for a practice at a friend’s sand-school.
Oh dear, there was rather little space for the circles and the Mannerly Mare seemed rather bored by the lack of hounds. The next day I practised a bit more in a farmer’s field ( the farmer was not present) and the Mannerly Mare seemed to go fine, if we disregard stumbling on all the lumps and bumps. After this session the middle-aged back ached horribly. I swallowed some paracetamol.
Now all that remained was to learn a couple of little tests. Ah yes. I used to give my now Grown Daughter these test sheets on the way to the shows, then ,obviously, she got on the horse and rode the test. Nothing difficult at all. Not when you have yet to reach middle age.
 On the evening before the show I settled down with a pen and a drawing of the arena C,MEBF, working canter turn right, walk 4 steps, turn left, give the reins free walk, canter left,... My mind went into a blur or letters and incomprehensible circlings. After the next glass of wine I decided it would be fine in the morning and that I would have plenty of time to learn the test after plaiting the mannerly Mare. I had seen my times on the internet and there should be a good interlude to learn test no 2 whilst having a cup of coffee. I only had to learn one test before leaving home.
As I plaited my mare, I did start to wonder if this was such a good idea. My husband had to pull very hard to zip up my daughters smart short chaps, which look like boots but sit very tight on me. My daughter’s jacket fitted well, amazingly. I had bought some gloves for 50 pence, Special Offer, at the Badminton Horse Trials. I was not wearing the Red Jodphurs. This was possibly a mistake, as it turned out.
 It was the first sunny day of summer in Mid-Devon. The show-ground looked festive. The Mannerly Mare was tacked up with a fairly clean white saddlecloth, to look the part.
 The middle-aged rider was still studying test no 1. Now the reading glasses were discovered to have been left at home. Was it an E or a B? Best go and see somebody else ride the test! Good move, this clarifyed the situation, it was an H.. Ah, everything was now clear, if only I could remember it. Best warm the mare up. Good job, she seemed to find it all quite normal. “ No 45, You can go in now, Arena 3” said the Steward, another middle-aged lady WITH her reading glasses. The Mannerly mare trotted up to the judges car and I smiled in the direction of the judges, all a bit vague as it was some 20 years since I had done this. The car beeped and the mare set off at her stately trot.
 Turn left, half-circle, circle, change the rein, help, what next... it was rather stressful. I forgot to give and take the reins but I got round, the test was done, final halt and salute.. I felt I deserved applause but there seemed to be no spectators at all, in spite of 5 busy arenas, only 2 pony-club mothers and a couple of exhausted and reluctant looking husbands of other middle-aged contestants appeared to have witnessed this triumph.
 Later I went to the secretary’s trailer for my judges-sheet and the result. There were several other middle-aged women in there. “I can’t see if I came anywhere” said one of them, “ I haven’t got my glasses” said another, “ You can borrow mine” said a third. A kind daughter of another one took pity on us all and read out our placings for us. We were now handed our sheets and even rosettes! The Mannerly Mare had won a rosette! “ A well presented test” it said on the Mare’s sheet. I was astounded, then I thought to myself: The judge, in her car, had appeared to be another middle-aged woman, perhaps she had also forgotten her glasses? That would explain a lot.
Now all that remained was to learn the second test... Help, it was quite soon...
So, to summarize, this is a true test for the middle-aged: The Tests.
Also, my underpants rubbed inside my BEIGE jodphurs and caused a nasty sore in a very awkward place. Maybe I can use the red jodphurs next time, they don’t rub. And yes, there will be another time, it was surprisingly good fun. Perhaps I’ll just get someone to call out the test though...
Annie, 25/05/09

Ecstacy versus cross-country, our brave Middle aged reporters test it out themselves.

Exiting News : our intrepid reporters have investigated the Hunter-trials scene by bravely borrowing their childrens clothing and taking part in a Pony Club Class themselves. Currrently the reporters are slimming by drinking a glass of red wine ( see News and Gossip for the benefit) to celebrate their survival of this dangerous mission.

Our star Reporter Fleur Blackmore , below, was riding her daughters 15 hh Trixie and Annie , to the right, was riding her Mannerly Mare, a suitable rocking-horse model for the Middle Aged. Trixie was deemed to have competed before and the Mannerly Mare could surely canter along in her stately manner?

TWO MIDDLE AGED WOMEN GO CROSS COUNTRY!
 Is this a mid life crisis, having an overwhelming desire to re enact our youth? Why else would two grown women go to the Tiverton Pony Club's hunter trial?
My friend Annie and I have decided that it would be fun to do the pairs jumping. Despite the fact that between us we haven't jumped a course for about 50 years, neither of our horses have ever done a course before but as it was oly 2'3 - not too much can go wrong!
 We walked the course the day before, but separately becauseAnnie couldn't find it even though she only lives ten minutes away- she is rather dim about directions- and when I got home I discover a problem with the trailer but manage to borrow a neighbours - things aren't going very smoothly!
Both of us have had to borrow our daughters' hats and body protectors and my friend had only her bright red jodphurs ( size 8 though!) to wear which complimented her red woolly jumper, you can just picture how cool we looked!
 We arrived on the day nice and early so could do everything at a relaxed pace, rode around a bit, over the practise jump individually and together - no problems.
 To the start, 5,4,3,2,1 and we're off!
 Over the first, then Trixie stops at the second but I get her over from a standstill (so hopefully that didn't incur penalties). Into the timed section now and we collide at the third! So circle round and then Trixie runs out at the 4th! By this time we had given up even thinking about synchronised jumping!!
However by jump seven we really got into the swing of things and started to fly round the rest of the course. By jump 16 I was absolutely exhausted - this course was very long and still four more jumps to go! Phew, nearly at the end, down three steps and on the last leap the end of my body protector dug into my back - ouch! I thought they were meant to save you from getting hurt!
Over the last and we've finished!
I still haven't stopped smiling - I loved every minute - it made me feel 12 years old again - and I can't wait to go again!Cross Country should be marketed as an anti-aging product!
NB: Its now the next morning and I can barely move, every muscle aches and my back is agony! Pictures to follow.
FB 27/04/09