Further Careers in beating, how to advance.

CAREER BEATERS..
As a career, beating is, frankly, a bit limited. There is a glass ceiling in operation, one suspects, particularily for female beaters. Possibly we need a new lot of sufragettes to hurl themselves down the valleys in front of the guns. This might lead to unpleasant blood-shed however, which, surprisingly, in a bloodsport, would be most unpopular. There are career beaters who beat five days a week and who work for several shoots. These are frequently upper middle age to elderly individuals and they look very fit. They are always very hungry at lunch-time and spend a lot of time discussing which shoot feeds their beaters best. It is likely that they don’t eat much at home.
 . The greatest problem for career beaters is the cost of fuel as the shoots are quite spread out, travelling to work becomes very costly.

Indispensable Elite Beaters.

If you want to advance but still be an OB (ordinary beater) the only option is to become Ultra-reliable. The Elite are very loya land often work for only one shoot, or possibly do occassional days for another. They put their family life on hold, they have no social life, they just become ultra-fit and possibly rich. They are always on time, never miss a day with their choosen shoot, not even if they have a temperature of 42 degrees C (105 Farenhait). The Elite never get stuck in holes or brambles. They always have impeccably trained Spaniels or small but faithful labradors. Should the dog be injured, the Elite Beater will still turn up and do the job of a person and a dog.. The Elite never complain about the food or the wages, they enjoy all days, however long. They do not get extra pay for their devotion but are sometimes awarded gold stars, which they wear in their hats, which are of the most modest and suitable type possible. In every way, they are an example to us all..

 BOGIS

The only advancement possible is to become a BOGI ( Beater of Great Importance). As in all advancement this will mean a sacrifice in your relationship with the other OB’s. We don’t like BOGIs on the whole. BOGIS tend to wear army surplus gear, such as camouflage jackets and trousers. They NEVER wear pink boots or colourful bobbly hats.They would really love it if they had an excuse to wear Balaclavas or camouflage netting over their faces.
 BOGIS LOVE carrying radios so they can communicate with the keeper and order the OBs about. They also love lengthy post mortems on all drives, such as what went wrong, who let the birds through, what should be done next time etc.. They also like talking about various types of guns and how much better they themselves would shoot than the guns who are shooting that day.(They never have to prove this until Beaters Day, when strangely, they are sometimes absent…)
 

    RADIOS.
 Nearly all shoots use radios so that the various lines can communicate as to when to start the drives etc. This also enables the manager of the guns to keep in touch with the keeper about the days’ progress. The radios frequently are left on at all times and can be heard for a long distance.
 It is quite normal for the keeper to ask the beaters to be quiet, whilst all the while his radio gives out loud conversation from another area…. It can also be a little embarrassing. If you have a private conversation with a radio-carrying BOGI, it is quite likely that your incontinence problems have been broadcast for all to enjoy

GAME-KEEPERS.
 The keeper or under-keeper is the boss of the beaters. It can be a stressful job as shooting days are just the visible tip of the whole years work which is geared to being able to provide the required number of birds to be ‘bagged’ on each shooting day. The keeper has to organise the number of beaters and the drives, make sure somebody takes the vehicles around etc. Most keepers are nice, courteous chaps who say please and thank you and treat the beaters well.
There are some exceptions however, men who get very stressed if things go wrong and blame the beaters. This can be very trying for the beaters who will get a thorough good cursing for turning up in the wrong gateway, in the wrong field, beating the hedge from the wrong side etc. In these situations it doesn’t help to complain that the instructions were possibly a little unclear…
 The language used over the radio by one of these stressed keepers turned the air blue for miles around on shooting days. A gentlemanly old farmer who regularly came beating complained to me that his radio had suffered a melt-down in his pocket.
If you should suffer the misfortune to come across a very temperamental keeper, the best thing is to vote with your feet and find another shoot. Beaters are quite free, this is one of the advantages of the job. You do not have to give a months notice. Don’t walk out in anger though, the walk home may be very long!
If you dream of advancing to the post of Game-keeper yourself it will be difficult. Keepers seem to come from families of keepers so choose your parents carefully. Few women keepers are seen. In fact, for ordinary mortals, there is a glass-ceiling just above the rank of BOGI. Some BOGIS advance to “running the line” but this is really only being a top-class BOGI, not at all an under-keeper.

Section b.
As well as coming from proven stock, the game-keeper in waiting should have a suitably male name. It should be short. The most favoured are Rob, Bob,Jack and Harry.
These names seem to carry authority and inspire beaters with confidence. There are game-keepers called Colin and Trevor etc. but somehow these names lack that natural flair.
 A game-keeper is incapable of remembering the names of his beaters on shoot days. It takes at least 3 years before he will remember what you’re called and by then you may well be a BOGI in the making.
Normally all male beaters will be called Bob, Rob or Mike by the keeper (himself Rob,Bob or Trev).
Women will be amalgamated: Jilly and Ann will both go under the name of Jilly-Ann. Marianne will become Mary and Lucinda Lucy, then they will be called Marylene, both of them.
There is sometimes confusion in the wagon:
The keeper ( Bob) will call out , “ Rob, I’ll have Jilly-Ann and Bob and Tom on my line, you can have Jilly-Anne and Marylene and Rob on yours and go through the gorse at the bottom of the plot”. All the Jilly-Anns and Robs will now look a little confused.

Keepers Counting Block:

On Shooting Days all game-keepers loose the ability to add numbers. They can manage with 3 people but after that a huge number of re-counts are needed.
If there are 12 Beaters and all the Jilly-Ann’s have been ordered to go with Rob a further count-up will be held. “ Now we had 12 , that leaves three for you Derek and four four me, or wait a minute, let’s count again…”
This syndrome is clearly brought on by stress as these same men will normally have no problem whatsoever with calculations as to the cost of pints in the pub, tens of thousands of poults put down and so forth.
 Game-keepers, true to Lady Chatterly, must be very manly and never wear proper water-proofs. On freezing days they must be prepared to strip off to their shirt-sleeves. The reasons for this are not clear, probably it is to do with male vanity..

Your Very Own Shoot.
If there is a glass-ceiling in operation the only way to advance is to get so rich you can run your own shoot! This solution is not actually unknown and has many advantages. Even a small rough shoot can be a lot of fun and you can have your own radios! Failing that, moibile phones will do, if there is signal in the area, otherwise just shout at each other in an important-sounding manner.
Tell the beaters off, curse the dogs, have your very own fun! Lots of us would do it if only we could!