A correspondent has ventured to ask how teams will know if they have been eliminated.Obviously, the committee has thought of this.There are rules for this contigency, the team willbe notified by text message. If there is any signal in the area, they will know at once, otherwise they may carry on. If they respond to the text a further 125 points will be deducted, as beaters are not allowed to answer their mobiles during drives.
 Beaters, who have careers in Banking, are well advised to keep quiet about this and crawl into a solid gorse-bush to send messages about multi-billion deals during the Championships, such behaviour will incur the displeasure of the committee.

 New Beater Trials Rules:
 Some new rules have been added after discussions by the Highest Committee. Naturally, the Sport should be kept as free of rules as possible. The fewer the rules, the better the public understands a sport. Which is more understandable, racing or dressage? Nevertheless, ice-skating is very popular, in spite of not having very easy rules.
 Qualification of competitors has been deemed necessary.
It has been suspected for some time that some teams enter younger, fitter beaters for the trials, even though some of these young persons may not even have been beating at all.
It has therefore been suggested that we introduce a new rule:
 106.a: All beaters must have been out at least 6 times during a season and carry a Current Beating Certificate. These must be signed by a Recognizable Gamekeeper. Under-keepers may not sign Beating Certificates.
Drug-testing (rule 113 a. and b.). It is proposed that Regional Competitions may be held without drug-testing but, in view of our hope to become an Olympic Sport testing must be introduced for the National Championships and any International Beater Trials. Beaters will not normally be tested for alcohol in the blood-stream but may be tested for all relevant pain-killers and other medications. Veteran competitiors in particular are adviced to have a chat with their doctor if they feel uncertain about this rule. Recreational drugs such as Estacy or cannabis are not allowed.
Course Inspections (rule 93): An Official Course-Inspector will be nominated by the Committee and the course must pass his inspection on the morning of the Trials. An Official Going Report will be published in advance of declarations.

The Basic Rules for Beater-Trials

• The NEW OLYMPIC SPORT: BEATER-TRIALS.( a summary by Gamebird)
• For the shooting fraternity the spring and summer months can stretch forlornly ahead. This is especially so for the Beaters, many of whom do not go on skiing holidays. Therefore, in order to lift the spirits of the unemployed beaters a new sport is currently being created. Lottery and governement funding are being looked into by the Organizing committee. The Committee consists of foreigners with little experience of shooting. We feel this is the fairest way to run the sport.
• Compared to Horse Trials, beater trials are very cheap and easy to set up. The course need not be marked in any way at all. Toilet facilities should NOT be provided. Medical cover is unnecessary, injured competitors may rest under a bush until they feel better, or until the end of the day, whichever comes first. The only things that need to be found are, an old sheep-trailer with some damp hay-bales inside it, for the competitors to sit on and a radio for each team entered. The radios need not be working all that well.
•  We are certain that Beater-trials will replace One Man and his Dog on televison, let alone Stricly Come Dancing which which will now be finished for good.
•    The committee wishes to familiarize all the shoots with the
• Rules and Regulations.
• The Teams.
• Each shoot can enter a team of three beaters. One of these MUST be over 68 years old. 1 dog is allowed per team. A dog can score some plus-points but risks incurring very many minus-points.
• The Course.
•  Beater-trials will take place in testing terrain. There should be plenty of slack barbed wire fences.
• There should be steep slopes and muddy banks covered in beechleaves. There should be water-obstacles of unknown depth.
• There should be a pheasant pen. There may be a weasel-sized hole in the fence for the beaters to crawl through.
• Any gates should be difficult to open and preferably not on the hinges. Hedges should be thick and thorny.
• There should be brambly wood-land.
• Cover-crops are optional, depending on the season. If included, they must be very tall and wet.
• The Competition has three phases:
•  1. The Turn-out inspection. Beaters must wear proper waterproofs, suitable boots, gloves, hats, and their tools of the trade such as sticks and flags. Pen-knives, hip-flasks and baler-twine may or may not score pluspoints .
• 2. The Cross-country: Each team will be given oral instructions by a real Game-keeper. The Instructions will be on the lines of: "Go down the lane, through the copse, jump the gate, cross the pen, tap out the hedge, wait a bit at the Hollies until you see George..."  There may be two lanes on the course, several gates and no Hollies, and the waiting-time for George may be varied for each team. George may never appear, or indeed exist.
• There will be a short timed section. This will include the Barbed Wire Hazards. Marks may be improved by helping the oldest member of the team, at the discression of the Judge. Too much helping is undesirable as   the team is a working unit, after all.
• Marks will be given for keeping an orderly line and proceeding at a suitable pace, depending on conditions..
• Flags may be used for flagging, or rolled up, as the beaters see fit. Marks will be given for correctness.
• The location of the Guns should remain unknown. The beaters may use their heads to interpret the course as to the likely destination of the birds. Marks will be given for Good Inspiration, or deducted for Stupidity and Getting Lost. Teams that get totally lost are ELIMINATED. Somebody will hopefully find them before the end of the day.
• 3. Standing Still. After the x-country comes the Trial of Standing Still. The teams must be hosed down, unless it's raining hard. An exposed gate-way should be chosen for the trial of Standing Still, which should be of unknown duration. Teams are judged on quietness and good temper. Interesting conversation may score plus-points. Bad language will not be tolerated under any circumstances whatsoever. A positive outlook is favoured by the judges..
• At the Finish, the teams must prove themselves to be dry on the inside. A very experienced judge will be appointed to assess the score for dryness.
• Trophy: The winning team will recieve a large Cup inscribed "It is not for Beaters to ask why”.
• Oxtail Soup will be served at the prize-giving.It should be made clear on the entry-forms that there is no risk of lumpy carrot and coriander soup.
•  We look forward to hearing from the Beater’s Union. Any suggestions for this future  Olympic Sport will be gratefully received. The Organizers